smilez.. it make u feel good

2007-03-24T23:51:00.000+08:00

alright..
i give up...
i still cannot view my blog..
so i going to change to a new site...

http://arcanum-of-my-own.blogspot.com/

2007-03-23T23:45:00.000+08:00

3 busy daes.. has passed..

wed went out with plt 11 for steamboat..
around 9 went.. actually more or less expected.
this will be the last time i see all of them unless they bother to ask mi out..
if not.. i will sae..
SAYONARA..
: )

got soc training on thur..
damn siong.. especially when i am FAT..
and din sleep the previous nite.
cos toking to johnathan the whole nite..
was toking about everything..
from past to present to future..
from studies to recs.. to girls..
stay in tekong till nite before going home..

went out to watch MR BEAN..
damn funny.. a good way to relax myself..
lol..
the lead actress EMMA DE CAUNES is CHIO BU..
lol..

discover something tis few quiet moments by myself...
whenever i sae i wan to change to be better..
i dunnoe did it happen..
but i noe for sure...
i now learn to listen..
in the past when johnathan tok.. i will cut..
but the past nite of toking to him.. result mi being listening to him more..
i hope its a good start..
all i noe i wan to be better..

P.S: i still cannot view my blog..
wtf.. haiz..

2007-03-20T16:18:00.000+08:00

SIAN ah..
nthing to do..
damn bored.
fitness program has started..
and i feeling the ache now..

hmm..
browsing thru some of the old things while tidying up my room..
memories flashes back..
and those r fond memories..

during my bro ROM.. my aunt ask mi y i no christian name when my bro have 1..
actually i have la...
its just that its not commonly used...
and not a lot of ppl noe it...
lol..
ppl who noe oso seldom call mi tat..
lol..
my bro is call lawrence..
and i am call GARY...
as i sae..
i dun use it often..
now that u noe...

2007-03-18T21:30:00.000+08:00

hmm..
2 batch gone.. with the latest just 2 daes ago...
comparison between them and my first???
nthing to compare...
both give mi something speical as memory..

personally i feel i owe PLATOON 11 a lot..
firstly... i din communicate as much as i wan to..
secondly... i try not to committ myself to them too much.. since they will have a new PC..
third.. i din share as much as i wan to..
forth.. they prove to mi again and again.. yet i din even bother to push them all the ways.. and follow them thru their last hurdle..

ALL i can sae is.. i din give my best to u guys.. but u guys still give mi ur best performance..
to see u guys do wat u did in CO evening really touched mi..
when i sae my last few words to u guys.. i denied tat i will cry.. but i was holding back my tears..
seriously.. U guys may not be the most well discipline, best performaning platoon...
but the effort u guys shown mi.. really make feel proud of u guys..
like wat i sae before i leave.. no matter where u guys r posted to... do ur best.. as u all have shown mi u can.. control ur temper.. especially those i give extra before.. i noe u guys r improving.. and dun ever stop... continue... lastly.. ALL THE BEST TO U GUYS!!!

hmm... went out with wilson, GL, CC with his gf and andy with peggy..
eat sukura... and damn full.. losing out my eating power..
especially with the target of reducing my tummy in 1 mth time.. sinful to be eating so much..
went to watch the HAUNTED SCHOOL..
supposed to be scary.. but with a bunch of ang mo.. make funny noises during the movie.. results in it being comical moments..
peggy ask wilson a qns after the movie..
y u nv bring ur gf..
and we like.. laugh at the qn..
wilson sae he's gay.. lol..
good ans..
but dun ever put the word of Bi into mi..
i only like girls.. and not guys..
and andy.. though mi and wilson r close.. we r not GAYS.. we r BROTHERS..
lol.. btw.. its u guys who keep saeing i BI since u r all recs.. eh..
being close to male friends is nthing wrong loh.. dun put it into the thinking tat i AM A BI.. lol..

fun is always there when we go out.. but seems like the last few surviving is mi, GL and wilson.. with andy, CC and chun An..making guest apperance at times.. its all expected i guess..
haha..

fun time dun last always.. and friends dun get together often...
wat's most important is the quality of time spent..

tml 19th march..
is the start of my keep fit, enrich programme..
april 26 will be the first trial dae..
i shall see how much i improved..
3 mth i gain 10kg.. bringing my weight to 70kg now...
1 mth plus a few daes..
i will try to hit 65kg..
and i shall see if i can do it..

2007-03-17T15:50:00.000+08:00

back from the guys POP..
as a guest of cos..
it great to see them all POP..
and heard from them... their 24km was reduce to 21 km..
due to some bus cork up...
lol..
and all seems alive and kicking.
despite the harsh terrain and long marches..

din took lots of pic...
just some of it..
and some is with the recs.. erm.. ptes there..
and of cos some of the fun wesley and i try to get from the vehicles..
and not forgetting another nice gift the coy give mi..
THANK YOU 41 SAR and HAWK COY!!!

HONOR AND COURAGE!!

the parade itself..
and mi with PS gerard and mr beng and small dragon..

AND WAT A BEAUTIFUL ART PIECE FROM HAWK COY.. ALL THANKZ TO
DANIEL FOR HIS HARD WORK....

AS THE RECs POP.... THE ROVING TEAM JOURNEY ENDED....

AND WE R BACK TO OUR SUNNY ISLAND...
CONTINUING OUR NXT QUEST... OF TRAINNING...

2007-03-15T22:01:00.000+08:00

ok.. back in tekong.. after 3 mths in 41 SAR..
officially i am not a kebasi member now..

hapy hour for coy in the week as well as the games dae..
games dae din go on as plan.. due to the rain..
but with the prizes prepared.. we just need to mak everyone happy and so each platoon get 1..
sample of my hard work in wrapping and choosing the prizes..

the overall prizes as well as 5 similar prizes at the side..

the battalion present a cert as well as a medal for my contribution to them.. during CO evening..

and it's touching to see most of the hawk coy ppl stand up to cheer.. thanks...

went back tekong yesterdae nite for todae enlistment..

and was damn sad when ppl sae i grew bigger...

actually i noe abt it.

though they r kind enough to sae bigger instead of fat.. but it still hurt..

and so i decide to use this to show how fat i am..

the body is my tummy wearing a polo shirt of some organisation..

and the pic of mi is from taiwan..

the whole thing is created using paint programme..

lol.. this is to remind myself to start TRAINING..

lol.. a song is oso created for tis..

sing to the tune of "barbie girl" of aqua..

I'm a BUMBLE BEE..in a BUMBLE tee..

Life as a fat boy, It's so fantastic..

You can Poke my tummy, u can Press my belly..

BELLY FULL OF FOOD.. it's my DREAM..

come on fat boy, lets go dig in..

lols..

though not complete..

but guess for now i will end in tis manner.

time to keep fit..lol...

2007-03-10T23:03:00.000+08:00

went temple todae..

and went to the IT show.. @ suntec..

nthing much to see.. cos nthing in mind to buy..

but got a lot of eye candy to see..

lol..

saw ivan hu with his gf there..

went mini toons and got myself 1 key chain and 1 handphone chain..

lol..

voodoo dolls..

to enchance my career/studies luck and my love life..

lol..

the pic is damn not clear..

haiz.

that the bad thing abt HP camera..

lol..

going to tidy up my room..

and to do some self study tml..

improving myself..for a brighter future..

2007-03-10T00:56:00.000+08:00

back from movie..
with siong and wei..
watch 300..
interesting show..
kana ask for ic when buying tix..
damn pissed off...
watching a M18 show and u ask for my tix..
hey i already 22.. older to even watch R21..
and still ask for ic..
haiz..

spartans.. strong and determined..
Nv retreat.. Nv surrender..
we pay for the price of watever is sae out from us..
King Leonadis is a great leader..
inspiring 299 other spartans agains the huge persian army..
fighting till the last bit.. not even a thought of surrender or retreat ran thru their mind..

there is a scene where a group of army volunteer to join the spartan in the war..
and they were shock to see only 300 spartans..
king leonadis ask his soldiers their occupations.. and each give answer like blacksmith, woodcutter and some labour job..
and when king leonadis ask his spartan wat their occupation.. their reply was a strong war cries..
King leonadis den tell the commander of the group..
" i think i brought more soldiers than u do.."

tis scene relate mi to something..
the group of army is like our NS men..
while the spartans is REGULARS..
but a qns to ask..
r our REGULARS comparable to the spartans??

passion, love, courage and determination is needed to serve the country..
the spartans have it..
and they nv fall for all the wealth, women the persian offered..
they believe in protecting their country..
for FREEDOM..

how i wish all regulars r doing it in tis manner..
instead of the money...

2007-03-09T14:20:00.000+08:00

field camp... over..

lol..

nthing much to sae.. except.. tis is 1 field camp which i din lose temper..

lol..

let the pics do the toking..

41 SAR HAWKS COY FIELD CAMP

the 4 daes 3 nite i spend with the guys.. is an enriching and fun time..

HG wraps up everything.. and i am glad we made it in time.. to catch the ferry back..

2007-03-09T13:35:00.000+08:00

Bro's ROM was last SUN..
held at furama riverfront hotel..
nthing much to sae..
let the pic do the show..

EXCHANGE OF RINGS

the foods... and drinks.. buffet style.. woo...

mum's family.. the brothers and sisters..

i notice 1 thing.. i din take much on the main characters.. lol.. cos there are professional photographer to take for them..lol...

2007-03-03T21:50:00.000+08:00

BACK...

for bro ROM tml..

everyone is happy abt it.

from my own family to my aunt who see him less than 3 time per year to ppl at workplace..

and all keep asking mi the same thing..

happy rite?? bro getting married..

and i just give a straight face and reply..

WAT THERE TO BE HAPPY ABOUT? ITS HIS LIFE NOT MINE.. HIS MARRIAGE NOT MINE.. HIS BIG DAE NOT MINE.. I'M THERE JUST BECOS I NEED TO... NOT BECOS I WAN TO..

field camp start tml as well.. can't keep my mind of it.. keep thinking of the events that is going to unfold.. especially the HG live throw on thur..

where my 4 PCs life is at stack in the end of 118 recruits..

a strange wk for mi.. especially during sleeping time..

have similar dreams for 2 same nite..

and when i awoke its damn fresh in my mind...

dreams = opposite of reality..

i seriouse hope its true cos if the dreams happen in real life.. it will be terrible...

walk 16km yesterdae..

being a long time since i walk.. from 4km to 16km.

leg now aching..

cos nv do warmup and cool down...

got platoon pics and commander pics..

not very clear.... cos i dun have soft copy...

the only green in a mist of black..

41 SAR HAWKS COMMANDERS

41 SAR PLATOON 11

2007-02-25T16:36:00.000+08:00

"I can't gurantee they will all be back alive..
but i can guarantee i will bring them back alive or dead..
i will be the first to set foot on the field.. and i can assure u i will be the last to leave..
not leaving anyone behind.."

AS ONE..

the first is wat we heard during movie nite.. and that is the reply tat follow from the recs..

flared up lots of time tis wk..
time to cool down..
should begin to relax..
after all.. it only 3 wks left..
and 7 mths to ORD...

application to studies award seems harder than i think..
i hate those questions:

tell mi abt urself??? hate to ans.. wat can i ans??? i am lumpy... i always do stupid things just to get myself happy.. lol.. (jin i noe u will think i am crazy..lol..)

the nxt qns i hate most-- describe abt the achievement u have? wat the fuck achieviment?? manage not to knock onto a lampost while walking for the past 2 1/2 yrs since poly end? or manage to survive brunei and taiwan and the whole of NS not dying in it??

all this qns r not hard to ans.. but wat ever i wan to write.. in my mind doesn't seems rite for it.. and it always seems weird to write abt myself...
y dun u ask mi-- give mi 10 friends whom i can ask abt u?? its easier i think..
just give any 10 names and let them sae anything they wan.. after all wat a person am i is hard for mi to sae but easier for ppl around mi to ans..
i can sae i am hardworking, good, smart, organsied, friendly, helpful, etc..(i heard ppl puking..)
but an application cannot be i tell ppl my weakness like selfish, lazy, irritating, mad, like to do crazy stuff, power hunger, annoying, not tactful and all sort of thing that can describe a bad person..

so wat do all the QNS really wan to find out..
and does all the ppl ans the truth or they just came out with something just to get it..

Life seems to get worse and worse.. and wat a bad yr its going to be for an OX in the yr of PIG..

i just wan to get it.. and i willing to scarifice all i have on it..

FATE IS WAT DETERMINE THINGS.. but i know a determined person can CHANGE his own FATE...

new additional motto for 2007: TO GIVE IS BETTER THAN RECEIVING.. i will give more.. and hope for no return..
and i start to believe in KARMA.

and not forgetting my old motto: DEVOTE ALL I HAVE AND THERE WILL BE A TIME FOR RETURNS.

2007: STUDIES and upgrading will be the top priority.. watever come between mi and these r a hindrance to my progress..

gain without pain is WELFARE,

gain with pain is LEARNING,

pain without gain is TORTURE,

no pain and no gain is a WASTAGE OF TIME...

2007-02-20T14:26:00.000+08:00

after 4 long daes..
the CNY break is over..
feel damn refreshed..
after all i have being sleeping at home most of the time..

thing became more and more different when ppl grow up..
in the past..
visiting relative house is always a joy as cousin will play around..
there will lots of fun and laughter..
but now it seems everyone has grown mature..
lol..
lesser joy and the cny atmosphere is just not there..
relative din even visit for some..
is it the maturity?? or just becos granny not around anymore..
i think its due to both causes..

meet up with the poly guys for movie..
din have so much laughter for a long time..
and now i seriously notice wat a difference different grp of ppl can bring to mi...
friends all of them r..
but the thing they brought to mi is different..
and here the breakdown of wat i feel..

usual gang: hs, wei, etc etc..
seeing them almost weekly and they r just the one to be with if u r damn bored... cos they r always free...

poly grp: jason, jin, qi, etc etc..
seldom see each other.. sometime once every 6 mth and sometime like nv...
but they are always the one who understand my problem...
always fun seeing or toking to them.. really empty up my mind on all the troubles..

drinking pals: vincent, wx, wh, sophia, zai^2
feel sad or down.. just go to them.. no need tell them anything cos they will nv understand.. but the result is always the best.. 1 nite of happy drinking + 1 morning of headache and pain.. = forgetting wat is all my problems and the problem nv seems to surface up for the nxt few daes..
lol..

0406 recs: GL and wilson etc etc...
from superiors to friends... nthing to sae except that they r oso always there if i feel bored.. and the laughter they bring r high up there..lol..

this 4 main grp.. are very important as the play significant roles...
of cos there are some who pop up every now and then and does not belong to any grp..

y a sudden mention of this grpings..
of cos its due to wat happen yesterdae..
toking abt our future.. having laughter.. during the movie.. (the epic movie..)

booking in tonight..
damn sian.. "ta" duty for them.. haiz.. Y????
y did i agree... haiz.. should have sae no..
but Y?????? maybe becos i too free.. nthing to do..
argh...
sian ah...

damn CNY..
waste of time....

2007-02-17T10:27:00.000+08:00

back.. a sian wk... lot of stuff to do... but still managable..

boring V dae.. stay in camp.. while the rest of the guys book out.. coming new yr book in.. must "ta" for them again.. cos they going gf family visit.. haiz...

go old folk home todae.. to spread some love.. lol.. and one major good deed for the yr..

given out my first punishment.. to beng.. for poor attitude... can give him more.. a total of 14 extra or SOL.. but decided not to.. so gave him 2.. hope he learn..

nv like new yr.. ever since young.. always the saddest moment of the yr.. and one of the reason i hate feb... and this hatred deepen after last yr...

back from movie.. GHOST RIDER.. not bad.. wonder y all marvel movie must have sequel.. haiz.. going to watch lots of movie tis holidaes.. be it alone or with friends.. EPIC Movie, Just Follow LAW, Twins Mission, Protege and Norbit.. hope to watch all.. lol.. or if possible.. go CLUBBING.. being a long long time since i go..

finished reading their reflection as well as commander appraisal.. though generally still ok.. but guess there are things i need to change.. and i think the approached i use is wrong for them.. negative comment like the following.. show favourism, childish..

hmm.. show favourism? dun think i ever did tat. the last thing to do is to be impartial.. yes.. i admit there are some recruits i am closer to.. but when its time to punish. i nv HESITATE.. if i ever show favourism, wilson will go ocs, jian sheng will be in sispec and i will not punish them and make one cry le..(last batch) beng will not be punish for his attitude, xiao long will always escape punishment le.. dun forget when punishment is dish out, i nv step in though my RANK allow mi to..
childish? ok.. maybe la.. but all did for fun.. and all act like small kids so must make myself kiddy to noe u guys better..
though the comments are generally good.. i believe jerry ways is the way to take tis guys thru bmt..even if it make him a hated guy.. nvm.. 2 more batch to learn... guess will go back to tried and tested method for nxt batch.. tat is the way i treat my pioneer batch..

can't wait to go back tekong.. miss the daes arguing with Johnathan, the lobby, the red track, SBL.. and of cos the fastcraft.. and most importantly.. the freedom to do wat i wan..(of cos doing the right thing..) 2 more batches.. the dae just keep getting nearer and nearer.. and sometimes i jus wish it just started.. and not end so soon...

chu xi tml.. and 3 daes of holidae.. anyone wan go out. just jio mi.. i will go.. lol..

HATE FEB.. AND ALWAYS WILL..AS LONG CNY IS IN FEB..

MOOD OF THE MOMENT-- feeling damn low and sad.. though not the lowest yet.. finding ways to improve my mood.. deep thoughts...

2007-02-11T14:52:00.000+08:00

si bei sian ah..
weekend stay home oso nthing to do..
book in oso sian...
stay out oso sian...
haiz..

went NUS for the session..
saw seah and jenson..
they all gonna be yr 1 while i going straight to yr 2..
jason and i were thinking of whether to try for the double degree thingy..
but decide not to..
concentrate on 1 and just get it done WELL...

went to wilson chalet..
only 5 went.
GL, An, Evan, CZ and mi..
so sad.
lol..
but we manage to get him drunk..
see the fun he have...

come AUG.. i wan it too...
but no worries.. wun get myself drunk..
lol..
just have fun and a good gathering of all my friends...

nxt wk gonna be relax at least for mi..
just outfield and den its total defence celebration as well as Lunar New Yr celebration..
and who can forget route march on V dae..
lol.
purposely put it in evening so ALL commanders cannot book out...
LOL.. and keep those lonely souls company in camp...
lol..

2007-02-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

just to add.. a damn insulting thing happen..
i wonder should i be happy or sad..

bought cigrettes from 7 eleven..
and this lady ask mi for my IC..
i was like..
wat the hell!!!! IC.. i already overage for 4 yr le.. still ask for my IC...

but thinking back..
maybe i look young.. LOL..

P.S.. i dun buy the cigrettes for myself.. its for someone else..
and PLS DUN ASK FOR MY IC IN FUTURE IF I BUY BEER OR CRIGRETTES..
I FEEL INSULTED..

2007-02-09T23:13:00.000+08:00

back again..
did nthing todae except to plan for games as well as some other key stuff...
basically..
the games dae is going to be BIG..
making it like a carnival..
a fun dae for the guys..

treat the guys for their wonderful effort in the range..
talk to them.
speak to them about some of the expectation for some of the upcoming event..
and of cos the nxt target for them..
IPPT..
personally..
i hope to see 5 gold.. and 24 out of 28 pass...
last batch din hit my target..
hopefully tis batch will.. if they put in effort..
basically the mood todae is relax..
and we just tok cork.. and a chalet for them is map out..
19 to 21 march..
all commanders and recruits of PLATOON 11 are invited.. lol..

commanders had a steamboat cohesion with finally a full coy strength..
chit chat.. self frag each other.. and of cos joking around...

cohesion really build up the bond of all commanders which is important especially in an active unit..
the bond with the recruits must oso be there..
like wat wei ming said.. platoon level must work together before a company can work together..
and like all things.. things must start from small and snowballed to improve...

enough crapping..
time to get some rest and of cos.. tml going NUS and wilson's chalet...
no time to buy presents sia..
haiz..
and not forgetting..
MUM's BDAE.. is tml too...

and for todae..
HAPPY BIRTHDAE weiching and choo hui..

and CONGRATES to
Zsa Zsa and Augustine for such wonderful O level result..
it great to see you guys do well...

2007-02-08T22:16:00.000+08:00

back.. temporary.
took half dae off tml.. to accompany mum to checkup..

a shag week..
had range..
even before range..
prep for it was killer..
slept at 1 plus just to get the safety stuff up..
and reveille at 5...
wat a killer..
first dae end late..
and it was until 2 den i get to touch my bed.. and wat a short 3 hrs of sleep and off again to range..
CDO on range dae sux.. lesser rest than the rest..
without sleep i lose my temper a bit.. or should i sae it the company fault..
lol..
falling in late.. and i punish them..
second dae of range end and its late nite of 2 am again..
but finally.. reveille is at 7..
longer time to rest..
longer time to prepare...
and all tis finally end todae...

result is out..
18 marksmen out of 24..
impressive result..
1 of the best in company..
2 got perfect.. but miss out on coy best shot cos of their IMT score..

1 batch gone.. tis batch is ending in 1 mth time..
seems like there is a trend in my platoon.. lol..
always the most ill disciplined among the company...
but when it matters most..
they always show result.. last batch did it..
and tis batch show sign of it in BTP..
very glad to see the impressive result.. however.. the discipline can be better...

this 3 daes of range result in mi toking cork with a lot of them..
but 1 thing struck mi hard..
sae by the most vocal guy in the plt to mi when i jkingly ask him and do something in exchange for a cup of drink...
"Sir, dun need to trade... u wan mi do wat just sae.. wan do wat just sae... i sure do for u de even if u wan mi to injure myself..."

hearing tis really make mi think..
issit true? issit the respect i manage to get from them.. or is he saeing it out of fear?
i truly hope its out of respect and the willingness to do for mi..
it make mi realise again and seriously agree that..
its not the rank u wear that gain respect.. but the things u do to be respected..
i really hope its such case..

another tok cork session was with the commanders where we just share jokes as well as some of our training.. understanding their ARMOUR training.. and telling them INFANTRY training...
and noeing the pain of PS kumar in OOC from ranger course due to the driver fault in sending him late.. really fun to tok to them and great to have a better understanding with them..

share some joke which they tell mi, all name used r fictional..

JOKE 1:
3 guys TEO, PEH and LAU pass away and went for judgment dae..
PEH was told to enter the first door and he went in and see a ugly girl..
GOD then tell PEH: u did 1001 sins.. ur punishment is to stay with this girl..
PEH was reluctent but was locked up with the girl...

nxt was LAU who went to the second door..
he saw a girl 2 times uglier than the first girl..
GOD tell him: u did 2001 sins.. and tis is your punishment..
with tat LAU was locked up with the ugly girl

lastly its TEO's turn..
he open the door..
and saw a very very beautiful girl inside..
he turn to GOD happily and ask: am i so perfect when i'm alive??
GOD said: u r almost perfect.. go enjoy ur stay..
this is the punishment for this beautiful girl for her countless SINS...

JOKE 2:
3 guys LAU, PEH and TEO were walking on the beach when they chanced upon a genie lamp..
they rubbed it and a genie appear..
GENIE: i am a student genie.. i can fulfill a wish for each of you.. but it will only last 1 yr.. this is for mi as an assessment to graduate from the genie school...

PEH: i wish to eat all the type of fruits in the world..
GENIE: ok.. and lock him in a room

TEO: i wish to drink all the type of liquor in the world..
GENIE: alright.. and lock him in a room too..

LAU: i wish to smoke all the type of cigar and cigrettes in the world...
GENIE: great.. and lock him in a room as well...

1 yr pass..
the genie returned to get his assessment result..
he open the first room...
PEH came out looking more healthy than before: i nv taste so many fruits in my whole life before..

the genie open the second door.. and a drunk TEO came out: i wan more.. give mi more ...

lastly the genie open the last door..
LAU: @#$!%&!!! i quit smoking already..
GENIE: wat happen?? dun u like wat u request for??
LAU: U locked mi up in a room full of cigrettes and cigers but nv give mi a lighter or matchstick to light it up...

the above joke might nt be funny but when it was told.. all burst out laughing.. maybe we r really bored..
lol..
just ways to kill time..
and to entertain each other...

2007-02-04T15:44:00.000+08:00

WHATEVER IS NOT YOURS WILL NEVER BE YOURS...
NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO GET IT!!!

boring FEB..
work, work, and more work..

tat y i always hate FEB...
of cos there is other reasons as well...

2007-02-03T20:47:00.000+08:00

tiring week..
kana CDO on mon though its not my turn..
got to cover for other PC..

First outfield.. IFC lesson this wk..
carmo on.. though there is some conflict initially..
but all solve easily..
CO came and take a look..
everything went on smoothly i guess...
take coy photos, plt photo, as well as commanders' photo.. the most outstanding guy.. tat is mi..
with the only GREEN beret in a mist of BLACK beret..
"THIS IS ONE ARMY.. " something commander BMTC tell us when we came roving..
how true issit.. to be working hand in hand with other vocationists..
had IMT yesterdae... went PLC..
saw wilson and david there..
was overall safety.. wonder wat danger is there in a IMT session..
falling into foxhole.. lol..

plan to take off todae.. but got to take over as supervising role as the rest of the PCs went TP4..
saw khairul, percy as well as another 'U' coy guy going for their run..
only came home at 2 plus..
things happen in coy line..
irresponsible ppl result in certain things happening..
Y can't ppl just wake up their ideas... and create a better place to live in.. haiz..
but without tis ppl.. where will all the fun and joy of living be...

tough wks ahead..
BTP range... Field individual body maintenance..
tekong field camp... Handgrenade live throw...
16km route march at ECP.. ippt Test.. GAMES dae cum Happy Hour..
and not forgetting 24km plus POP...
all this will wrap up my stay as a HAWKS.. in 41 SAR...

Eye irritation on for a week..
it itch like hell.. and i just can't stop rubbing..
if it persist..
guess i will report sick on MON..
just to ensure no prob with my eyes...

I seriously feel burned out...
need a break..
can't wait for chinese new yr to come.. not for the festival..
but the nice long daes of rest for mi..

wilson bdae nxt wk.. mum bdae as well..
NUS thingy nxt sat..
all crammed on 1 daes..
haven get any of the present..
no time.. seriously i am so busy with work.. tat i have no time for all tis..
when i have.. all i wan is a good rest...
Y am i as a NSF doing more than wat some regulars are doing..
haiz..
but all tis is going to be mi understand a lot of things in different dimensions...
no complains.. just do it..
8 more mths.. and this hectic but enjoyable daes will end...

2007-01-28T21:55:00.000+08:00

went out with gl and wilson..
suppose to celebrate gl bdae..
but end up nv do anything..
ate at pastamania in suntec..
tok cok there for the whole afternoon..
den gl went home to prepare for book in..
while wilson and i just walk around aimlessly..
went jp and walk around..
sat at mac to burn time away as wilson waited for his book in timing...
saw vincent..
as well as teck chai and sebastien of plt 2..
they r booking in as well..
den home i come for a good nite sleep before booking in myself tml..

tok alot abt army stuff...
as well as SHE concert which gl share with us..
tok abt wilson chalet.. as well as the 1 i plan..
and of cos crap abt mi quit drinking... which i think is impossible..
though i seriously hope i will quit.. lol..
ppl coming to the chalet..
if its 1:1, 2:1, 3:1, 4:1.. it will still be on..
if it 100:1.. tat's it.. it will DEFINITELY be cancel.. lol..
wonder wat i crapping abt.. only wilson will understand.. lol..

wat life do i wan??
a boring, routine life or a happening , challenging life....
haiz.. i can't decide.. not now...

2007-01-27T23:33:00.000+08:00

back from outside world..
went suntec..
walk around aimlessly.. with no objective..
eat at crystal jade and den rot at mac...
basically tat a way to spend my sat nite..
just chill out and chat the nite away with old pals...

notice 1 thing..
tis whole wk.. 2 insurance agents call...
all thanx to friend who give them my number..
eh.. i not rich.. pls dun sabo mi...
have 3 insurance is enough le..
haha... but i din reject them..
cos i find it hard to reject ppl.. especially when they r being intro by friends...
will have to think of way now..
lol...

lazy sun tml.. going to enjoy myself.. in BED..
sleep and sleep..
lol..
tat the way... before booking in on mon morning...
way to SLACK BIG TIME..

2007-01-27T10:34:00.000+08:00

a crazy wk went past just like tat..
before i start with wat happen.. maybe its time to release some stress first..
lol.. a balloon twisted and turned into a bear.. nice??? lol... find it quite cute.. though not perfect yet.. lol.. will try harder nxt time..

let's start with mon..
book in with bro.. was nearly late.. but as usual.. run into camp like hell..
started with soc.. no 1 did anything abt it.. end up have to ta for it.. haiz.. lucky i got all the template le.. lol.. so lucky..

disappointed with something i heard.. really feel tat all the effort i put in is not appreciated...
spend hrs consoling ppl not to commit suicide.. spend hrs finding out the reasons.. spend hrs to stop ppl from crying.. and all it take is just 1 sms ( content: haiz.. dunnoe when my PC is going to stop toking cork..) to irritate mi.. if not for PS to find out.. and my SC to tell mi.. i am still doing my best to stop all tis shit.. first of all.. its u who start crying.. saeing all ur prob.. as a PC.. i have to do my part.. when u sae u wan commit suicide.. i oso did my part to find out y.. when u sae everyone is outcasting u.. i did my part to stop tat..
DEN WHY THE FUCK IS THIS TYPE OF MSG TO UR GF..
now i have a new mindset..
fuck all the RECs.. u have a prob? go and solve it urself.. when i did my best and u just fuck care.. i still can take it.. but when u show tis fucking attitude.. tat's it.. i'm not going to be nice..

all those who wan to commit suicide and already sae it out.. DEN JUST DO IT.. SHOW MI.. dun waste my fucking time trying to find the root of the prob.. trying to talk you out of it... all is bull shit.. if i really bring u to the highest level and ask u jump.. DO YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO JUMP???? i can sae.. U DUN HAVE THE BALLS.. all u have is the mouth to tok.. and attract the fucking attention.. trying to chao keng your way out of tis two yrs in army.. y do ppl wan to chao keng.. is 2 yrs that long? is army so tough till ppl wan to chao keng.. haiz.. can't understand and i think i will nv understand..

had a tok with all the new PCs.. basically its just to set some rules for them.. all tis is done by their so called most fear 2LT.. not going to sae who.. lol.. same rank but still a difference.. though i agree with the things sae.. but the way it is being put across is not nice.. issit true tat we must set rules for our fellow PCs.. just becos they commissioned 1 or 2 batches later than us??

now for something better..
had coy commanders cohesion.. where we gather at the mess and had pizza nite.. all thanks to OC..
the new PCs had their initiation.. 8km fast march, reverse SOC.. all this is siong..
OC ask if i wan to join in..
of cos i refused.. though in my hearts there is still a bit which wan to join in..
y i refused is simple..
i am INFANTRY.. not an AI... though i try not to draw line.. there r time when they draw lines... u have ur pride.. i have mine too.. and of cos.. doing 8km fast march and reverse SOC.. is crazy.. i dun need tat again..
OC has being good to us.. everyone in general.. and though there r time when i do feel a bit outcast.. generally i am quite happy inside...there r even time when i seriously hope to be in their family forever.. (some PSs and SCs did ask mi to serve all the way with them... but generally wat stop mi is still the PCs..)

did 3 daes of CDO.. all 6 officer around.. and i still have to pau 3 dae of CDO.. though its not a tough job.. but seems like something is not rite.. but i'm not going to sae anything..

book out for my theory evaluation last nite.. den went to keat hong to find V lee, WX, sophia, Hong and zai zai.. eat, drink as usual.. time for mi to get away from all the unhappiness.. time for mi to relax one corner... took off todae.. decided not to be so hard core like my first batch.. staying with them thruout.. book in with them, share same bunk, and all sort of stuff.. now i noe the true meaning of welfare= tough training.. lol.. cos i had done it myself in tis batch..

going to enjoy myself tonite chilling out with friends.. supposed to go S.H.E concert tonight.. but gave up the tix to someone else.. haiz.. it s ok. there always another chance..

saw tis pic online and find it interesting.. especially wat its written.. seriously speaking.. there r time i just dunnoe wat to sae, wat to do.. and i just stare blankly into the air.. and stone there..
wonder issit good or bad.. lol...

btw.. happy birthdae to the following guys..

22 jan---- ERIC
24 jan---- Bro
29 jan---- Guo Liang

though there r more.. but its all i can remember now.. i noe the guys.. just can't remember their dates.. lol..
so whoever bdae is in JAN and FEB.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

2007-01-21T21:15:00.000+08:00

a weekend spent sleeping..
yes.. i need rest... terribly in need of it..
din go out though initially wanted to...
din book in as well..
decide to book in in the morning...
spend the time at home rotting and doing stuff i have not being able to do for a long time...
another wk of fun ahead??

4 dae to bro bdae.. will be in camp.. lol..
so celebrate with him in camp??
2 wks more to mum bdae..
either celebrating it 1 wk early or going to have it in the afternoon..
cos got another bdae chalet at nite on her bdae..
2 wks left to get presents..
no idea wat to get.. got to start looking for 1 nxt wk..

feb coming.. a time of the yr whereby my mood and morale usually hit a low..
hopefully it wun happen tis yr...
i just wan a normal time..
i dun need excitment neither do i need any pain to be inflicted on mi...

REST, REST, REST..
ITS ALL I NEED NOW...
I FEEL TIRED.. BURNED OUT..
NO ENERGY...
AND ITS JUST THE START OF THE YEAR...
HAIZ...

2007-01-21T10:36:00.000+08:00

eventful wk..
went tengah.. to report sick...
went IMH to visit rec...
spend the nite in office to ensure nothing happen to 1 rec..
went ford factory, changi chapel and kranji war memorial for NE tour..
went swimming in 5sir..
and finally i have time for myself..

such busy week.. whereby i have no time to think of any other probs..
no time for mi to do my own stuff...
but all this busy wks will be coming to an end in 32 wks....

time for some enjoyment...

2007-01-14T17:36:00.000+08:00

sleep is wat i did for the whole of tis rainy Sunday..
fever, flu, cough..triple combo...
i admit defeat liao..
but still had to book in later...
CAN SOMEONE TAKE OVER MI TML??
i need a rest.. haiz...

2007-01-13T22:47:00.000+08:00

back..

from movie.. kung fu mahjong 3...

hilarious..lol..

and den off to dinner...

at swensens..

had curry chicken baked rice as well as 2 other side dishes (Caesar Salad with Breaded Fish and
Omelette with cheese and chicken....)

and of cos not forgetting the desserts.. GOLDRUSH...

quite full.. actually too full till i nearly puke..

not normal for mi to be so easily full..

maybe becos my fever is back again..(temp go up half way thru the movie..)

haiz.. when will i be well again???

went walk around in marina sq.. den to citylink mall...

went in MPH..

and get myself a new book..

read finish the first 1 mth ago..

quite surprise the book is different from the movie.. but a twist in the movie always make things special..

and now i had the second installment.. time to chiong it all.. before the movie come out.. and before the third book come out...

2007-01-13T14:04:00.000+08:00

it went down a little.. but still dun feel as good..
i'm not going to let it affect mi enjoying my weekend..

went back tanglin tis morning.. cos eng wee call early morning ask mi go back...
see the CCA open house..
being 3 yrs since i last go back..
changes alot..
but still have the good old feeling..
seeing all the old spot where i used to hang out.. now changes into different rooms...

went back to the classrooms where i used to study..
met teachers who had taught mi..
walking around looking at all the changes...
back only after everything is done..

going out soon.. to watch movie as wella s to eat..
lol..
hopefully..
i will feel better and better..
A long wk ahead for mi.
with jerry and daniel going away..
i had to be around to guide the new guys as well as to conduct the lesson..
tough time ahead...

2007-01-12T21:10:00.001+08:00

temperature just keep rising..
no matter wat i do to lower it..
a better dae tml.. and a normal mi again....

2007-01-11T23:07:00.000+08:00

wk come and go.
and its already mid jan..
time really flies..
i still haven forget all the fun and pain of 2006..

new pc is here..
and time for mi to hand over..
going to take over johnathan position as HQPC..

can tell the platoon dun wan mi to leave..
but luckily tis time round..
i din put in all my heart and soul...
so the feeling of leaving them is still alright..
not as heart piercing as the first batch..

bmt starting..
more time to enjoy..
own room as johnathan leave for his 2 ic role..

tiem to enjoy myself tis wkend..
going to meet the 2 good friends..
eat or watch movie.. or both..
not sure.. unknown.. and no idea...
let them plan...

time to rest..
to sleep is the best gift i can give to myself after a hectic wks of being CDO for 1 whole bloody wk..

2007-01-01T21:27:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YR!!!!!!
BRAND NEW 2007..

time to start and to kick start a series of things i want to do..

first up..

already apply for 1 financial planning course.. which include Legal Aspects of Life Insurance, Financial Needs Analysis, Time Value of Money and Investment-Linked Life Insurance Policies.

time to self improve..

nxt up is of cos taking up jap classes..

not known when start.. cos haven find the right school..

and not forgetting driving license...

going to register on 11 jan..(the dae after my allowance come..)and hopefully i can get my license before aug..

and maybe one or two more self improvement course..

hehe..

all tis to make myself better...

start of new yr..

and i already planning for aug party..

lol..

look thru the stuff which i need to prepare.. lol..

and i think it a great start..

din do anything this 2 daes.. just rot at home..

to refresh myself for the great yr ahead..

a small drizzle in evning time and i caught something with my cam..

rainbow.. nice sia..how refreshing..

lol..

booking in tml..

a promise to myself..

time to train up..

will do all the training with the rec..

as well as additional training..

all tis t prep for AHM 2007..

to complete 21km..

lol...

so many plan in tis brand new yr.. how many can i succeeed....

lol..

wait till dec 2007 and i will noe..

opening ur mouth without action mean nthing..

ACTION TIME!!!

2006-12-30T23:45:00.000+08:00

a short wk.. but still as demanding...
din book in with rest cos had to accompany mum to see doc..
just becos of something.. haiz..

went back in.. rushed to prepare for GAMES AI and stuff..
thanx to johnathan for willing to swop cdo with mi..
a lot went thru tis wk..
though its short..
another visit to NUH.. cos 1 more rec was send in..
y must it happen on sat and to my platoon...
haiz..

the platoon ask mi..
y din i scold someone who scold them vularity related to their mum...
i have the power yet i din scold him in front of them..
i could do tat.. but issit the right thing???
NO...

went out with vincent and the rest..
to clinic in clark quay..
quite a nice place..
den went to hooters to eat..
din drink todae.. cos dun feel good..
hated them for teasing mi as an officer..
y?
officer got wrong..
u all cannot get in den sae thing which hurts.. but it dun bother mi at all..

actually not suppose to meet them..
but becos of some stupid thing wei sae in the afternoon...
wat pissed mi off most is when i call to ask where they r in the night..
and wanting to join them..
a statement from jun..
" u jio us out den still wan so late come.."

when in the earth did i jio him..
i din call him..
i din call wen kang..
i only call wei and siong.
and tis fucking attitude..
wat the fuck..
get ur fucking idea right..
ask before u tell ppl off..

irritating ppl is all around tis whole wk..
trying to test my patience..
i can tolerate..
for now...
but how long more??

2006-12-26T16:14:00.000+08:00

second post of the dae..
finally some time for my self..
lol..
went out with siong..
to get my new phone..
the third in my whole life..
sad issn't it..
lol..
K618i

not the best phone.. but 1 which is new and cheap..
lol..

now lets get back to work.. serious stuff le..
wat happen last wk in camp.. is so fulfilling than my whole three mth in bmtc..
learn how to cope handling problem kids..
learn how to tok to them..
a totally different way in handling them..
learn how to work with ur fellow peers in other vocation..
learn how to work smart..

hospital visits..
family visits..
all this due to the different family background..
its really an eye opener for mi..
understanding the difficulties ppl faced..

all these and more to come in the nxt 2 mths there..
now i nv regret going to roving..
working in a different environment.. yet gaining back some experience and even greater satisfaction...
roving rocks.. though life can be tough at times..hehe..

1 more wk to a brand new yr..
decide to do a yrly recap of my own personal milestones early due to the late booking out on sat...

1) took my first a/c out to brunei..
2) went to 2 different countries in a span of 3 mths..
3) commissioned as an INFANTRY OFFICER..
4) knowing a large grp of ppl who have work with mi thru one of the toughest time in my life 19122005 - infinity.. and sharing the joyous moment of our life on 09092006
5) taking up new command role...
6) seeing my first batch to pass out.. and successfully move on to the nxt phase..
7) knowing them personally and instead of a commander/trainnee relationship, it has move on to a wonderful friendship..
8) taking a new batch which is deems to be the toughest which i might face...

all this r just somethings i have achieve tis whole yr..
but frm all tis, i gain huge amount of confidence..
not just in myself, but oso in the things i do...
i noe when to raise up the morale of not just myown. but oso others..
i learn how to take up more responsible instead of avoiding them..
and of course my will to succeed has increase tremondously..

achieving things which i thought will nv be achievable is the best satisfaction 1 could ever get..
with all this new element.. hopefully.. it will be useful to mi...
and make mi stronger..

now for my resolution for 2007..

1) continue to seek improvement in human relationship... (not just bgr, but oso working, as well as friendship..)
2) start saving...(i too used to this life now.. 9 more mth and i no more allowance le.. so got to start going back to beggars life..)
3) DRIVING LICIENSE... (saeing is not enoguh.. time to see some action..)
4) language course... (same la.. always sae.. but not done yet..)
5) AHM 21km...(time to train.. its just a measure of testing my limit.. cos the ultimate aim is a full marathon..)

and of cos.. the last important 1..
6) enjoy my ORD cum new uni life cum bdae bash on AUGUST 2007... (time to celebrate big time..planning it now..)

ALL THE BEST TO MYSELF IN THE UPCOMING YR.. AND OF COS TO ALL THOSE WHO READ THIS.. LOL..

2006-12-26T09:19:00.000+08:00

ding ding ding!!!!
Its BOXING DAE..
not tat i celebrate.. hahahaa....

just reach home after a crazy nite over at vincent place..
going to be crazy if these goes on daily..lol..
nua at home practically the whole dae till vincent call to go over his house..
went to eat at keat hong..
drink as well..
and den its party time at his house..
lol...

wat's life without these????

and of cos the purpose of celebrating must have a tree to go with it..

and the crazy gang..

singing and rocking our way.. woo..

and i think its rocking too much.. lol.. sophia and her antics..lol..

all tis crazy fun we had.. lol..
leave us dead beat...
but after 2 daes of continous fun and joy with 2 different grp of great peeps..
i really think i make the most tis holidae seasons..
and i believe..
thing dun end here..
cos its new yr countdown in 5 daes time..
let's party on.. woo...

2006-12-25T11:39:00.000+08:00

we wish u a merry christmas..
we wish u a merry christmas..
we wish u a merry christmas..
and a happy new yr..

met up with 04/06 guys for dinner..
supposed to have fish and co..
but the idea of sitting in long table and unable to tok to each other make mi decide to change to tung le..
allow GL to order cos he's the organiser...
and he did.. with happiness..
we eat happily and when the bill comes..
a very very big shock.. lol..
wat a long list of stuff we eaten..

and the price for it...

not that i care.. lol.. spending time and money to enjoy myself.. is not something which will bother mi.. lol..
not tat i rich.. just tat i believe its good investment..
friendship does not = money..hehe.. so wat is the price of that dinner???

went to kelvin leong mum pub...
lucky its on the house.. so no need spend anymore..
along the way there..
went past my street.. lol..

being there and not taking pic with a street name same as my name is going to be wasted.. so here i am.. under the sign..

in the KTV room..r these few guys willing to waste their time and spend christmas with mi.. lol..
andy,gl and wilson..

kelvin,an and david..

jo and his gf..

peggy and andy..

the fun begin when the clock ticks closer to midnite...
supposed to be attacking others...
but wat wrong with tis guys????

a moment not aware and i am being ambushed...

dun mess with us or u will end up like tat...

a result of being attacked by friendly forces..

an will nv forget to get a pic of himself even during war time.. lol..

one moment he is having fun..

another he is sleeping like a pig...

fun we have.. and wat a mess we created??????

all good thing come to an end.. but who can forget the gift exchange thingy...
hehe.. did a mini gift exchange.. all for the sake of fun.. lol...
and wat did i get???

a pic together before we go....

fun we had.. but due to the service we have for the nation.. i was TIRED out..
after all i just book out in the afternoon...

lastly.. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF U OUT THERE..
HAVE FUN!!!!!

2006-12-24T14:48:00.000+08:00

back... after a long 10 daes in camp...
lots of interesting stuff happen in tis 10 daes..
even more than my 3 mth in bmtc sch 2..
hospital visit, home visit, finacial problem, prob kids..
all crammed in 10 daes..

wun tok abt it now.
its christmas eve after all..
going to enjoy myself for a well deserved break...
will tok more of the 10 daes tml..

ALL I HOPE TIS CHRISTMAS IS AN ENJOYABLE AND MEANINGFUL 1..
AFTER ALL I BELIEVE I DID ENOUGH GOOD DEEDS THIS WHOLE WK..
SO TIME TO PARTY...
WOO..

MERRY CHRISTMAS...
AND A HAPPY NEW YR in a wk time..

2006-12-14T14:34:00.000+08:00

sian sian sian..
staying home to recharge for the upcoming wks..
will be confine with the new recruits in new camp..
till christmas's eve..

thought thru wat john has sae..
maybe its true..
i think too much the place is not as bad as i think..
should not think so much..
but wat to do.. i really dun like the place..
haiz..
seems like i make a wrong choice..
unhappiness or happiness in this three mths is determined by myself..
by my own action..
guess i will just make the best of it..
like when i first posted to BMTC.. when i thought i would be posted as dy S4..
so treat it like nv before..

adaptbility to new area has always being my strong pt..
so seems like i need to depend on it tis time round..
to faster adapt to this new environment...

time for change..
different approach tis time round??
no more friendly faces..
no more full attention on them..
time to let the specs do the work..
think i focus too much on first batch.. and put in too much committment.. tat y end up their leaving from tekong make mi feel sad..

now no more 100% attention..
only do wat is necessary of mi..
do wat others before mi has done..
PC nv appear a lot of time..
and i shall be tis type..
lol...
no more shouting at recruits..
whacking is to be done by PS and the SCs..
if they din do it..
i will step in..
but i will not shout.. time to follow wat some ppl has used..
just dish out punishment like speaking..(eg. ang did it, faizal(ocs de) did it..so can i..)

keeping fit..
lol..
tat my take back from this 3 mths..
will make new friends as well as to build back my fitness into GOLD standard..
$200 is a lot of money to mi.. lol..
and not forgetting nxt yr 21km AHM target..

need to save liao..
being spending lots of money recently..
need to cut down on it..
9 more mths and i will have no more income..
so better save..

plan for lesson on the way..
both driving and jap classes..
now left the time to arrange settle..

enjoying my last hrs outside..
before going back in tonight..
wun be around till christmas..
sad sad..
hopefully no idiots will sms during weekend to ask mi out..
or i going to kill tat person...
console mi.. not add salt to my wound...

posting of those guys out tml..
will ask them tml.. see got any difference from wat i got...
ALL THE BEST IN YOUR NEW UNIT.. BE IT AS TRAINEES OR MEN..

2006-12-14T00:18:00.000+08:00

just something bo liao.. which i see from 1 mail...

Your Birthdate: August 8

You love being in love... so much so that it's very hard for you to be single.
Unfortunately, it's difficult for you to stay in love over time. Too many people intrigue you!
Only your true love will be able to keep you interested over time.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 2

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 3

You are most compatible with people born on the 8th, 17th, and 26th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

2006-12-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

a hectic dae..
VERY VERY HAPPY FOR MI SIA..
lol..
finally get to eat..
and when i sae eat.
it mean alot and non stop...
lol....

went to dragon gate restaruant..AT HARBOR FRONT CENTER..
for buffet dim sum..
with chun an, wilson, guo liang, vincent and andy..
same few ppl.. seems like all really dun like mi..
haiz..
sad ma... but better than nothing.. cos i bet.. sooner or later...
no1 will bother...

eat and eat.. tat my favourite....
den went watch "ERAGON"..
AT GV VIVO...
nice show..
all about dragon and its rider..
1 part came when Eragon tell Saphira(the dragon name) something abt being as ONE and Saphira reply with a burst of Fire from her mouth..
it make mi think..
PLATOON 1 IS ALWAYS AS ONE.. Y NO FIRE FROM THEM.. WHEN DURING 24KM ROUTE MARCH..
WE SAE IT AS ONE.. HAIZ..(meant to be a joke la...they r no dragon.. and i no hero like eragon.. just someone tasked to educate them..)
ERAGON WITH HIS BABY: SAPHIRA

after the movie..
went walk around vivo..
damn sian..
and something happen along the way...
lol.. think no need go into details..
few mths down the road..
if chun an is on newspaper for 1 reason.. i will noe y...

meet OC and the rest of U coy 04/06 staff for dinner..
no need to tok.
let the pic do the toking..
the dec bdae guys... JAMIL, WEE KIAT, and encik gf..

May i noe wat is Aidil doing???

busy on phone and they snap away..my shirt shine.. lol..

the first pic of whole cast...

the second pic of the whole cast..

got platoon t shirt from ching..
look not as good as i expected..
but its ok...
good try guys..in making a shirt out so fast.. in so short time..

the front.. with the close up...

the back and the close up...

will stop here todae le...
a bit shag le..
will write more tml...
for some heart piercing issue..

2006-12-13T08:54:00.000+08:00

on leave loh..
finally..
lol.. for 2 daes only though..
after tat?? a confinement wk till christmas..
haiz..
posted to new unit..
a total different experience..
culture shock is not a good word to describe it..
but its definitely VERY DIFFERENT from BMTC..
but the ppl there r alright though..
expectation seems to be higher for us as they have no experience in conducting bmt..
we have to try and blend into this new environment..
even the tradition yellow top and black shorts for pt is "banned" for us..
as we have to wear their "nice" pt kit..
not that i complaining..
but their admin make it worse..
look so much like ruby jersey..
lol..
but its new for us..
and we shall see how unit life is..

2 more daes to their enlistment..
for time being i going to enjoy the only 2 daes leave i can clear this yr....
meeting those heartless creature later.. for lunch..
den movie.. before meeting U coy staff for dinner..
tml shall be the dae for mi to recharge and get ready for the challenges..
87 daes in this unit...
before heading back to my place in TEKONG..

IN THE EASTERN PART OF SINGAPORE..
THERE'S A PLACE WHERE I BELONG TO..

2006-12-09T22:43:00.000+08:00

went back to "home"..
home of officer corps i mean..
safti..
hotel wing..
see all the instructors.. as well as getting my CSB cert..
and not forgetting D/F commissioning parade..

went back with johnathan, halim, wei yan, jon phang, wei chong as well as GUO LIANG..
met seah and benalda over there..

feel good going back.. with some of my instructor still around...
the parade was very grand..
even better than mine..
12 contigents..
president is there.. minister of defence is there..
even PM is there..(his son commissioning..)
feel good looking at ppl commissioning..
relive that feeling i had 3 mths ago..
however the feeling was not as strong when they throw their peak cap up..

some pics..
the colors party...

mi with yong sheng.. he finally commissioned.. after 1 yr as cadet..

mi and newly commissioned YONG SHENG and johnathan.. the junior color in the past...

went jp to eat.. after tat..

my feeling now..
only 1 song to describe it...

Grew up in a small town
And when the snow would fall down
I’d just stare out my window
Dreamin’ of what could be
And if I’d end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away

I’ll spread my wings
And I’ll learn how to fly
I’ll do what it takes
Till I touch the sky
And I’ll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away

Out of the darkness
And into the sun
But I won’t forget all the ones that I love
I’ll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away

Want to feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get on board a fast train
Travel on a jet plane
Far away and break away

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging round revolving doors
Maybe I don’t know where they’ll take me but
Gotta keep movin’ on movin’ on
Fly away break away

I’ll spread my wings
And I’ll learn how to fly
Though it’s not easy
To tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk, take a chance make a change
And break away

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance make a change
And break away
Breakaway

2006-12-08T23:18:00.000+08:00

a dae of slacking..
sitting in front of the com playing game..
going out with the guys to D/F comms parade tml..

lots of guys falling sick..
especially SECT 4..
All missing mi???
lol...
just like johnathan.. he oso miss mi le..
tat y oso sick... lol..
all faster recover ba..
den can enjoy ur daes off...

I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS...

2006-12-07T21:28:00.000+08:00

another dae gone.
just like tat..

went out with siong yesterdae..
went to eat, went play pool..
den home i go..
just to burn some time off...

went back camp todae..
to cler up my office..
early morning.. fail to wake up..
nv even hear the alarm.. so sad..
must be too tired..
met wen kang at pasir ris..
he booking in too..
but at CAB..
reach just in time for the ferry...
attend the meeting... chat with Saufi.. abt his ROVING experience..

Roy and justin came to coyline to meet up with mi...
they have just finish their training..
so happy to see them.. like old pal meeting up..
everyone looks alright and they seems to have a harder time than mi..
as they still need to chiong and endure sleepless nite..

after they go..
spent the time to clear up my room...
did a thorough office cleaning..
leaving no reason for the PC taking over my office not to return mi a neat and tidy room when i return in three mths time...

meet up with some of the sect 3 guys and went to eat..
their treat...
lol..
fat boi join us when we abt to go home...
and just update him on some of the meeting stuff...

met her on train.. surprisingly..
lol.. cos she din drive...
she found a job.. and having a new start to her life..
good luck to ya...

went home and decided to sweat it out..
hehe..
went for a run.. just a short 1..
3km.. feeling great.. to have the wind blowing against my face...

found out sect 4 have lots of them falling sick..
wats happening??? lol.. all missed mi and start to have fever..lol...
hope they can recover fast...

chat with ys.. surprised that he is in kranji camp as well..
seems like my roving trip will be fun with all these ppl around..
sudden have the argh to sign on..
of cos not as infantry...
but as an engineer..
dunnoe if i really wan it...
quite enjoy army life now..
not tat its slack..
but becos of its challenges..
and of cos the award to go uni to study...

if i din sign on.
i do hope to get an scholarship..
at least i can have no burden in the school fees...
and maybe a chance to stay in hostel..
now going home seems boring.
with nthing to do..just staring at 4 walls...
sian sian...
I WISH I CAN GET A SCHOLARSHIP..
or someone who can sponsor mi my uni fees and hostel fees....

christmas coming...
nv celebrate christmas..
so nthing much except to have SILENT NITE..
ALL I WISH 4 CHRISTMAS is.....

2006-12-05T22:59:00.000+08:00

dae of JOY for the recruits..
as they finally complete their first stage of army..
the platoon bring mi JOYS, FUN, LAUGHTER, PAIN, ANGER..
basically everything...
i got to admit...
they r part of my life already..

seriously speaking...
to see them leave.. is a pain..
just like how i feel 3 mths ago..
when i LEAVE my platoon in OCS..
the difference is this time..
i am the comander..
and to see my "baby" of 3 mths pass out..
not only feel sad to leave them...
but oso worried if they can make it out there..

very grateful to all the ppl in platoon 1..
will always remember u guys.. as my FIRST BATCH..
gave mi the confidence..
give mi the courage..
make mi improve as a person..
as an instructor...

will always remember each and everyone of u..
and hopefully u guys wun forget mi..
lastly...
at the parade square.. before we leave just now..
we all sae 1 last thing as a platoon...

THE SPIRIT OF PLATOON 1 WILL ALWAYS BE STRONG... COS WE R ONE

A CARD FROM ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SECTION..
SECTION 4

mi with my PLATOON BEST-- PTE YEOH CHEE CHING

pics with the rest..

my little "son" of the dae.. cos his parent nv go..

time to chill at a quiet coyline..

2006-12-02T22:42:00.000+08:00

went town with wei and gang..
sians sians sians..
should have stay home..
not in the mood to be outside walking abt..
haiz...

dunnoe y..
the extremely sian mood is bad..
2 wks since i meet her..
though we still call every now and then..
but its doesn't seems the same...
hard to explain..
haiz..
who can understand how i feel????

always looking happy in front of others..
pretending everything is all rite when there is always wrong..
how i wish.. there is someone around to console mi..
to tok mi off my sorrow....
haiz...

2006-12-02T13:42:00.000+08:00

back home.. early.. before the book out time..
shag wk..

have to decide on platoon best.. prepare for games dae as well as the final 24km..
platoon best is CHEE CHING..
missed out on coy best by a bit.. so sad.. haiz.. if he had done well in the ippt..
but nvm.. at least he get platoon best.. and OCS door is open for him..
hopefully he can come out well to serve the nation...as a better leader...

GAMES dae.. something Ulysses nv win before.. always at the bottom few.. but history was created.. lol..

tug of war team.. though we lose in the first round but we did it with pride..

human obstacles.. came in second.. woo..

combat race.. third.. missing the second spot by 3 secs..
POH din lied to mi when he promised mi a top three finish.. lol..

longest race oso came in second.. they worth mentioning.. cos they kick start an afternoon of fun...

GAMES DAE overall second..
ULYSSES COY..

not forgetting our drill squads..
coming in third.. and the best drill instructor: 2sg matin..

fun time dun last forever..
as we rush back to prepare for an early nite..
24km start the nxt dae in the wee hrs..
walking from dawn.. till noon..
with cold morning breeze to blistering heat to rain falling on us..
the platoon did it.. as ONE..
start with 43... end with 43.. 1 nearly fall out.. but manage to make it thru..
i nearly die in the heat from the 16km to 20km mark..
but nv at one time did i wan to give up walking FBO with those guys..
if i fall.. i bet they will too..
fortunately i din...

a proud moment for them.. we came back together.. enduring all this thru..
WE R ONE

recruits evening after the 24km..
not a nice 1.. but think we all just make it thru not sleeping..
lol..

decided to book out early..
though i do wan to book out with them.. but i believe its time to let go..
after all, 4 more daes and they r gone..
8 more daes..
and 41 SAR here i come..
lol...

we r still ONE.. guys.. not one by one like u all sae..
lol..
its just tat i believe i need a break after conducting 2 big things back to back for this wk..
have fun over the weekend.. and ur last two daes of BMT....
all my privates- to- be....

2006-11-26T13:06:00.000+08:00

haiz..
some problem with my blog..
so going stick to this skin for the time being..

went out to town last nite..
with wm..
to get bdae gift for jen..
finally decided on voucher-- levi's
den waited for jason to come..
before going together..

went to take train at somerset when jason reach..
and something very funny happen at the walkway to the station..
was toking when suddenly both wm and jason stop..
by the time i notice something it scare the hell out of mi..
saw a 'GHOST'... was so close to coming face to face..
jump up.. and nearly scream out... and i pushed wm away..
hard to describe.. its something.. must see den can understand type of thing..
the whole scene was funny though due to my reaction..
but who can blame mi..
all this happen due to the both of them.. not warning mi...

met qi and jH at white sand.. chat a while before proceeding on to the chalet..
reached the chalet very late whereby everything is over.. lol..
sit around and chat..
waited for bai and mel loh to arrive oso..
and just sit there and tok tok and tok.. that the only thing we did.. for almost 2 hrs..

the bdae girl, jen, and the late comers of her party... LOL..

decide to leave and met up with wilson and guoliang..
kind enough to come pick mi up.. lol..
den went cine and sit there and chat.. just rotting our time away..
leave around 4.. and they send mi home..
thanx.. lol.. though bo shun lu.. but they still go and detour..(both live east and i live west.. lol..)

finally reach home at 4.30..
and off to my beloved bed..
and finally i can have my lovely sleep since 40hrs ago...

going to take photo for my NUS application.. haiz..
waste of time..
den going to do some of the prep things for nxt wk.. and the final prep for this cohort to POP..
and off i go to book in again.. lol..
4 more daes to GAMES dae..
5 more daes to 24km..
both i conducting.. haiz..

7 more daes to new UNIT?????
woo..
an ever changing live of mi..
lol....

2006-11-25T15:47:00.000+08:00

a very very eventful wk..

fateful mondae..
1 fall from balancing beam and reason for cause still unknown.. an ongoing case now due to parents ready to complain...
nv eat the whole dae till nite when PC1 and 2 plus PS1 and 2 went to scarrbard for supper..
had chicken cutlet..
and it is the cause of anther fateful incident..
eating happily when receive call fro parent due to morning incident...

crazy tuesdae..
eat or drink anything.. and double of the amount will come out either thru ,mouth or ass..
diarrhoer and vomit the whole dae.. not forgetting having to deal with PTI..
as well as that dae training.. due to a shortage of officer..
finally give up and went MO..
was supposed to drip.. but manage to physco MO to reduce to a jab and some pills..
still din recover fully till thur..
had an early evening...
really thankful of those who show care and concern.. especially my guys in PLT 1...
din give mi trouble and let mi have an early rest...

wed..
the 1 who fell reported sick again.. and was sent out..
haven recovered and have to deal with another parent call..
was shocked to noe he sent out as medical center have no call us....
incident grow too big..
TO requested to see mi..
went and try to explained..
but nv given a chance..and was screw 1 big time by him...
still have to take over as duty officer. due to the shortage..
feel like breaking down..
2 mth down as a 2lt..
the first time i am in immense pressure..
to answer to parents, superiors, the recruit, and myself..
no 1 really understand the feeling especially having to deal with all this in sickness...
call home.. but no1 around.. my only source of consolence is not around..
feel helpless..
fortunately CSM notice and tok to mi...
feel a lot better after toking to him...
thanz.. encik..

thur..
engine back though still not on full throttle..
went ot 2 consecutive meetings...
for 24km and games dae..
PLT 1 alays sae i zou bo lan..
now seems like they have been cursing mi..
2 event back to back.. and 1 of it is the highlight of their bmt..
and both i am the conducting..
24km is easier..
cos route march-- been there done that...

games dae is the killer..
i have no idea what to do..
have a hard time to convince ppl to join..
to participate.. to suggest.. to lead..
finally accept it that it is the biggest challenge..
if ever i can get the company to work together during games dae..
and nv get the bottom 3 in al event.
that will be the achievement for mi..
i really hope.. at least my PLT dun give mi prob..

screw my own PLT..
good they may be.. even better than the rest..
but the discipline prob have not improve..
matured among all but ill discipline of all..
bet its my own doing for being to slack with them..

fri..
SDO duty..
a break away from my plt..
though i always hate SDO.. but it the first time i enjoy it..
staying away from the company line..
not having any company issue to worry..
a real break for mi..
luckily nthing happen in the school as well...

sat..
ippt for them..
din join them due to the late handing over of SDO..
saw their result that a lot improve but there r some who deprove..
no anger with them..
cos i believe its individual duty to achieve wat they wan and at least to maintain the standard they achieve before..
they always qns mi if i can still get my ippt gold after eating so much and slacking for so long..
i dare sae YES...
but just 2 wks.. and from silver drop to pass???
tat a qns only able to be ans by themself..
where is the push for better result?
slacking after achieving something?
tat a bad attitude..

ROVING is cfm liao..
but still dunnoe where..
hopefully is somewhere near jurong...heheh...

going to enjoy my wkend..
have fun before spending my last wk in tekong with this bunch of excellent but ill-disciplined private-to-be..

2006-11-19T18:49:00.000+08:00

went out with hs and wei to queensway..
finally got myself a new pair of shoe..
see a lot..
like a lot others..
but have to settle for this.. cos the rest seems like "out of stock"..
or "no more sizes"..
but i think it still looks good..
lol...
trying to console myself it seems..
it really doesn't look tat bad seriously.. lol...

but all white.. seems like it will be dirty soon.. as i am a very very dirty person..

book in in an hr time..
or at least i have to get out of house to head east in an hrs time...
haiz..
used to it le.
always having such a short weekend..
issit tat i dunnoe how to plan my time or issit tat time is really short during weekend..
haiz..
shoo...
off i go...

2006-11-18T23:10:00.000+08:00

shag...
one whole week of walking..
non stop..
since last thur..
the re 8km route march..
plus mon 12km and tue 4km den wed 2km..
and yesterdae 16km..
this whole fucking wk i walk at least.. a min. of 42km..
crazy..
FBO.. even when i had my 32km during cadets' daes.. i nv walk so long before..
mon going to have re 16km..
i seriously dun wish tat i have to go again....

17 daes to those guys POP..
a significant dae for them.. as it will marks the end of bmt.. a transformation from civilian to soldiers...
hopefully i done enough to assist them in this transformation..
how good i am in this role.. i dunnoe..
but i finally understand how it feel.. to see a grp of guys.. under my charge to be leaving soon.. to face future challenges...

i hate the feeling..
3 mth ago.. i just have it.. leaving 1 grp to embark on indiviual journey..
now i experiencing it.. only difference is i am the commander now..
and i going to expereince it for 3 more batches in the rest of my NS stint...

ROVING.. something i going to embark in 2 wks time..
3 SIR or 41 SAR??
or any other units..
i dunnoe.. all i noe i going to leave tekong for 3 mth in 2 wks time..
going miss my first batch POP dae..
hopefully can get leave to go...

grown up alot in this whole 2 mths as a PC..
learnt to be more understanding.. always thinking for others first..
learning to provide a better listening ear..
nthing give mi a stronger sense of satisfaction and achievement than those guys saying i did make a positive differences to them...

remember those nights when toking to steven at the stairs..
there he was requiring mi to motivate and bring him back to track..
and i was there receiving my boost of energy..
especially when he sae he feel great having mi listening to his problem.. feel better if i was there walking the route march with him...
all this seriously make mi think..
if this little can push them on... wat pain will there be to walk again another 16km.. wth those guys...

relationship with recruits r considered ok..
however.. there r things done by the commanders which pissed mi off...
by right i should just sound off..
but certain behaviour by them really make mi re think if i should do it..
they dare to sound off if i have problem..
but they nv really look into themself...
all this r minor problems.. hopefully all will be solved soon...

went dinner with her..
toking to her face to face again seems so different..
it really brighten up my mood after telling her my problems...
really glad that she back...
and that seems like the only good thing to happen far...

NUS application is confirmed..
now left the disruption thingy..
should i disrupt or should i not..
haiz..
a big headache and i got only 1 wk to think abt it...

just hope to have a peaceful wk..
a silent nite is greatly appreciated...

2006-11-11T21:47:00.000+08:00

1 more wk gone..
i am safe from the terror face during grenade throw..
not much danger..
but was burnt due to the long period in the bay..
2 blinds and we r in the sun for additional 1 hr..haiz..

have a tiring wk with a re route march with those 8km guys..
have a lot of fun though..
ippt tis morning..
those guys did well..
1 gold 12 silver 7 pass and 24 FAIL..
not bad.. better than wat i expect..
but i am disapoointed with their discipline..
nv see this guys train though i give them lot of admin time tis wk..
haiz..

slept in section 3 bunk cos they fear of all the weird sound they heard at nite..
i heard nthing in both the nite i stayed there though..
but still fearful of my OWN office.. after Johnathan tell mi abt little girl story in my office.. haiz..

scared.. but not allow to show..
tired.. but not in front of recs..
a lot of stuff i need to do.. especially in front of Recs..
haiz...

supposed to meet her for dinner todae..
after all she is finally back..
but she have something on.. so everything is put on hold..
memories r now memories..and will always be..
hopefully there will be more memories.. created by us...
:)

2006-11-05T14:02:00.000+08:00

went out with wilson, 2 kelvin, guoliang, percy and little tortise..
went see boon first at cgh..
lucky nthing serious.
just a bit of swelling..
hope he can recover in time for sit test..

went rice table to eat..
eat buffet again..
as usual.
all NSF like buffet.
i dun understand y..
lol..

walk the whole stretch of orchard..
the area seems to change a lot.. maybe bcos i too long nv go..
haiz..

resting at home todae.. suppose to go out wif 62/05 colors party..
but i dun feel well.. so better rest...
nxt time den catch up with those guys..

some pic of the field camp.. none of it have mi.. cos i not the main character tis time round.. it 04/06 ptp ULYSSES plt 1 who r main character..

a start to the field camp.. setting of shelter..

first time eating combat ration.. it doesn't taste tat bad la..

time to bath.. no water.. but we have powder...

smoke out.. raining and smoke screen.. who sae training cannot mix with fun???

shag out look.. lol.. shaggness is getting into them..

a shag out PSP.. lol..

wilson in shellscrape.. lol.. still can pose.. mean NOT SHAG..

the march to BIC..

my oot warriors.. lol...

2006-11-04T14:02:00.000+08:00

finally back from field camp..
its was alright for mi.. first time as an instructor..
din whack the guys though i very much wanted to..
the guys discipline was bad.. but on certain daes they did perform well..
tested those i wanted to test.. saw the potential of some..
saw a lot of chao keng kia..
saw a lot of wayang..
i did blast off my top on the fourth dae though..
blasting at ppl who can't do correct drills taught to them..
finally i understand how its like for the instructor in OCS to blast at mi everytime i did wrong..

giving confinement, charging ppl seems like a norm now..
7 daes past.. a min. of 10 ppl kana confinement.. and 1 going to get charged..
misfire, weapon stolen, losing of items.. all this r mistake they r warn of before field camp.. but shaggness make them forget everything..

lets not talk abt the recruits anymore.. or it will be boring..
heard that 10 guys kana 7 extras for SDO.. and i'm 1 of them..
TO seeing the first 4 daes' SDO guys.. and i am the last of the 4.. on mon...
wonder wat i will get..
haiz.. very bad.. how i wish i din slack off when doing the things..
if not not only will i not be affected.. the 3 guys before mi will not kana as well...
haiz...

mon having grenade live throw..
my mum"s son life is in the hand of 45 recruits..
any corkster who din throw as taught will result in a loss of her son..
haiz..

a few more daes.. hopefully memories will no longer be memories..
it can be enact in real life...
i miss u.. dearly...

2006-10-27T17:30:00.000+08:00

back..
took a half dae off..
if not i will have to wait till nxt wk before coming home..
tml starting field camp..
finally got the AI done..
finally prepare for fieldcamp..

did something i feel bad abt..
whack the whole platoon yesterdae.. din enjoy it at all..
find it hard to whack them.. but i still did..
cos of certain behaviour..
if i dun whack them now.
during field camp..
they will suffer..which i do not wan..
i wan them to have as enjoyable time as possible during field camp..

going to enjoy myself now.. till nite..
gotta book in.. if not will not be able to make it tml..
1 more wk in jungle.. 1 more wk of fun..
wooo...

2006-10-23T20:26:00.000+08:00

just came back from marina sq..
went with those recruits to eat..
by rite is they treat mi..
but decide against it and gave them a treat instead..
lol..
ate sake sushi..
tok a lot of cork..
and end up having less time for myself.
and now i rushing off to catch the last ferry to tekong..
i hope i can make it on time..
argh..
sian sian sian..

I AM NOT A WHITE HORSE.. I TREAT U ALL WELL COS I DUN WAN TO PLAY RANK..
I DIN SLACK THRU OCS.. I OSO HAVE MY SHARE OF PAIN..

U r coming back.. i think the torture will end soon..
i dun ask for much.. but a friendship that can last forever..

2006-10-22T22:46:00.000+08:00

a dae i spend doing nthing..
just sleep and sleep..
woke up damn late..
9+ in fact..
went aunt place..
its being a long time since i went there..
walking there bring back memories..
1 yr ago.. grandma is still there..
1 yr past..
she is not there..
i have grown.. 1 yr ago.. a recruit..
1 yr past.. a 2LT training recruits..
a very very big difference..

slept thru the afternoon.. in the room i used to spent my wkend in..
with grandma on bed while i sleep by the bed side...
slept deeply.. a long time since i have such a good sleep...

a dae like 1 of those which i just want to thrash thing out.. but as usual..
no1 is there for mi to do it.. except ont this blog...
feeling low.. feeling bad.. haiz...

wanted to accomplished something before 30..lol..
these is just something i thought of the whole restless dae..
decide to list it out.. cos i found myself spending too much time minding recruits and have no time for myself.. (partially i just want to work myself numb so i can forget every trouble i have in reality.. just wan to forget the unhappiness i'm facing...)

these r the countries i wan to visit:
AUSTRALIA(during uni daes..)
FRENCH
ENGLAND
US
JAPAN(graduation tour..)
HONGKONG(nxt yr perhaps..)
TAIWAN(yrly basics.. hopefully..)

Learn new language:
JAP(so can go japan for graduation tour..)
FRENCH(a beautiful language to mi..)

immediate goal:
DRIVING LICENSE (car and bike..)
learn more on INVESTMENT( to be ready to invest smart..)

All this is just part of a long term goal..
1 to keep mi busy even more.. so even weekend i dun have to worry abt facing the reality.. the real world i living in..
:(

2006-10-21T23:20:00.000+08:00

back home..
finally..
lol..
no mood for anything..
though was out for movie..
but the mood is not there..

watch "the departed"
a english version of "infernal affairs"
bad version i think..
finally understand y given M18 le..
cos the number of FUCK per sentence is so many that i lose count..

went eat bk..
something i dun like..
was hoping to eat something better.. but no chance..
haiz..

everyone change..
all going home early.
seems like they got programm all line up..
even wei oso..
haiz..
grown up..
all of us..
haiz..

run into some of my old pals..
gabriel, matts and ibkkar..
and 1 rec.. ANDY..
must be going to meet peggy.. lol..

sian.. sian.. sian..
i hate town.. i hate seeing so many couples.. argh...

feeling low.. haiz...

2006-10-21T13:22:00.000+08:00

another wk gone.
tis wk damn shag..
and the first time i flare up so much..
haiz..
have range on wed and thurs..
was overall safety officer..
think i din do well for my role.. lol.. dunnoe y..
was in chamber..
f a lot of the recruits..
cos of their safety breach.. nv listening to safety brief i gave..
nv do wat is right..

my platoon was fuck up..
only 1 got marksmen..
lowest among all 4 platoon..
but its ok i guess..

the overall platoon performance was bad tis wk..
causing the commanders unhappiness with them..
all refused to tok to them anymore..
leaving mi alone..
haiz..
low morale in the whole platoon which i can sense..
i already send out my warning.. nxt wk is the wk i will f the platoon as a whole..
tested it out on 1 guy.. during range and those who saw it was already scared..

i think i have given enough warning to the guys..
being good guy doesn't work everytime..
and its time i unleash my ugly side..
storing for 3 wks le..
always telling myself to cool down.. cos they r RECRUITS afterall..
but its not good for them.. cos they have a long wae to go...
if they still act like tis..
it will cause them harm than good..
TIME to change.. and make them noe their behaviour is BAD.. terribly BAD....

nxt wk is going to be tough for them..
field camp.. and i conducting it..
shag for mi and shag for them..

a very very shag wk ahead..
tue SDO duties.. holidae and i on duty.. wat luck i have..
sat start of 7 daes field camp..
AI still not done..
haiz...
sad sia.. not sure where to start.. and how to start..
bet i will have to do it during my duty time..

gonna enjoy this wkend.. precious sia..

mi and my platoon.. (finally i got chance sit first row.. lol..):

2006-10-15T15:55:00.000+08:00

sleepy and shag..
slept early previous nite..
2200.. and i lying on bed..
wake up at 0830 and after breakfast.
its time for another long hrs of rest..
and only now did i wake up..
haiz...
tired.. i dun noe y..
but sleeping is wat i enjoy most now..
no strength to go out.
no mood to do anything..
except to slack in bed and sleep..

wat a way to spend my weekend..
haiz...

2006-10-15T09:09:00.000+08:00

interesting wk have passed..
the recruits did their ippt result..
interesting...
4 silver, 4 pass out of 47..
a tremondeous improvement since the ptp phase..
but its nv enough...
i wan at least 40 of them to get pass with 20 to achieve silver and 5 for gold..
greedy?
dun think so ba..they can achieve it de..
their effort is there..
i can see it..
but its disappointing.. when i confine them for rt yesterdae..
i feel bad..(one thing is i cannot book out.. another is their sad face...)

nxt wk going for range..
overall safety officer.. wtf..
the whole platoon has been jkingly threathen to shoot mi if i nv give them canteen break.. lol..
of cos i wun give..
shoot mi? bet they will be trembling when they r in the chamber...

lots of shit to be done..
field camp AI..
overall conducting.. haiz... with jenson assisting mi..
went to recce the site le.. bet it will be fun.. lol..
but going to be tough for mi cos i need to do so much shit.. argh...
i'm going crazy..

the haze is back..
in tekong there is no such thing.. but in main land.. its terrible..
sick sick sick..
back for 1 dae.. and i have fever..
argh..
stop burning the forest...

going to train liao..
hope to take ippt soon..
so can go and achieve GOLD..
and $200.. lol...

back.. soon...
i'm waiting..
for now..
waiting is still the thing to do...
and a torturous 1..

2006-10-07T20:44:00.000+08:00

hazy hazy..
wat the world happening man..
smelly.. blurry..
i dying soon..
all this haze making mi feel difficult in breathing.. argh...
STOP IT...

1 wk pass again..
cpc finally over.. got my cert.. and officially pc 1..
feeling tired.. cos been putting more effort than i believe i will into the platoon..
sleep thru the whole afternoon todae.. haiz..

got to noe the recruits better.. as a pltoon and some even more personal..
assist pc2 in conducting imt..
got a taste as CDO..
conducting TH test for the recruits..
saw a few who r cork up in the test.. give them the chance to take the test again..
some even required personal coaching..
while doing this..
johnathan and jenson went to have some fun.. ogling at girls whose bf or brother r enlisting..
they get the good things while all i get is just 200 recruits staring at mi.. lol...
but its ok... fun in noeing the company better.. lol..
wat a way to console myself..

section 3 in my platoon saw little boy during the nite..
make mi have to act as someone who is not afraid..
give them some assurance that there is nothing..
while hearing all this i even joke abt it..just to lighten the mood..
after all the cork story i give to them..
they still feel scared..
haiz..
make mi even scared as i sleep alone.. in the office..
a bunch of 12 recruits sleep together and scare..
wat abt mi sleeping alone.. even worse.. lol..
but still must act as if i not scare.. lol...

stomachache.. flu.. dizziness.. haiz..
haze faster end..i getting sick.. help help..

real soon..we will meet.. i really counting down to it..
catch ya soon while still having some contact..

2006-10-01T14:30:00.000+08:00

spend a very meaningful weekend..
went out to beach rd...on fri...
suppose to get my uniform sew with the CSB badge as well as the singapore tag..
but the bloody uncle piss mi off..
this is how it go..

mi: got CSB with the black color grass around the rifle..
uncle: (give mi a weird look)wat black color?? u design de? whole saf use the same and u wan black? go design urself loh...
mi:( totally pissed off) forget it.. bu yao le.. yi fu ye bu yao feng le..

taking my uniform i walk off.. the 1 i saw was the wrong design for CSB.. one which most get it after commissioning but was not the rite 1.. haiz..
seems like 1 more wk without bagde...(not tat i mind..)

went funan nxt to get some stuff for my office..
hehe.. time to decorate my office..

spend the whole sat to format my com..
to erase all the shitty things.. that i do not need..
finally its clean and working just like new..
lol... but i lose a few things..
like all my photos..
haiz...
memories gone..
haiz..

going to book in later..
but going parkway first.. to get my phone.. from aunt..
lol..
hopefully a good phone which is non camera..
3 daes of CPC.. before officially taking over as PC of platoon 1..
i beginning to enjoy my new life..
lol..

my finance is depleting.. argh..
less and less money...

but i going to embark on new journey again when my allowance come in nxt mth..hehe..
going take a few courses..
mainly driving.. and maybe a foreign language: jap? or german? or french?
lol..
who interested to join mi???

thinking of chalet at end of yr..
inviting all i noe.. lol..
but now too busy to plan the details.. too poor to book 1..
haiz..
maybe i will look into it in the upcoming wks...

Wondeful Time Dun Last Forever..
But Memory of It Do...
Cherish Every Moment I Spent With U...
Hopefully...
There Will Be More of It..
When U Returns...

2006-09-29T10:58:00.000+08:00

1 whole wk with my platoon..
get to understand them better..

start off with weapon presentation..
presented them their 'wife' for the next 2 yrs..
'wife' which can protect them in time of war.. yet can be disatrous if they dunnoe how to handle it well...

rest of the week is still mainly on PT..
went thru the whole activities with them..
shag shag shag...
nv since end of service term had i have muscle aches..
but now i have it again..
i understand their pain in doing pt..
but i still must continue.. cos its for their own good..

tok to them often.. communicating with them is the key to success...
they r more willing to open up to mi with their problem they have..
i can oso feel satisfaction when they hope to share their joy with mi..
seeing them so willingly to help each other as well as their determination really push mi on..

physically unfit they may be...
but the heart and soul they put in every training really make mi feel motivated.. it oso let mi have more ideas to share with them...

though being with them for only a week..
but able to see those quiet 1 making some noise really means that toking to them individually works.. lol.. (bhb now.. trying to claim credits le..)

10 more wks before this bunch pop..
really enjoy the time with them.. so far..
though i did f them up for their f up discipline, drills as well as some attitude guys..
but overall.. they improve tremendously...

enough of the platoon..time for myself..
lol..
though overall i still can manage the pt..
but i think i need to improve my fitness further..
so they i can conduct the pt lesson for them..
most like to give up..
but when they see that u r doing .. they tend to put in effort and forget abt giving up..
so must lead them by example..

my specialists as well..
though they nv sae out but their action show..
they nv like losing out to us.. one reason is we r new.. being lau jiao.. they wan to 'eat' us..

but as usual.. they end up losing.. be it running or any other physical activites...
i dunthink i am physically stronger than any of them.. but mentally.. i push myself on.. while most of them just give up when they cannt take it anymore...

overall.. i hope the commanders can improve better working as a team.. it is not impressive to be working individually..

going enjoy my long weekend.. last 1 before 10 wks of sat-sun bookout..

p.s fucking suay.. first school duty officer duty.. and i kana it during a public holidaes.. haiz.. wat is life..

u r coming back... real soon.. hopefully the feeling remain the same..
forever...
counting down the daes.. when i can see u.. whenever possible....

2006-09-24T16:43:00.000+08:00

wat a dae..
did nthing except sleep..
though have an early nite yesterdae...
but woke up only at noon...
actually is woke up at 8 but lie on bed till noon...lol...
being a long time since i do tis..
feel lazy..
dun like to move..
only wan to be lying there doing nthing...
and nthing is wat i did..

got up and have breakfast and lunch together..
2 in 1 meal..
hmmm..
went out a while just to catch up with some friends..
came back only becos i need to book in..
haiz..
miss those daes..
where everyone is free and everyone is there to tok cok and have so much fun..

booking in at 2030.. with my recruits..
going to be a new experience..
the last time i book into tekong..its in smart 4..
as a recruit..
botak.. and carrying a field pack..
1 yr later..
i am carrying a civi bag, in polo tee and jeans..
wat a big difference.. but the book in time is still the same..

dun feel like doing anything..wan to sleep.. though i am not physically tired..
but i feel low.. issit morale? or issit something bothering mi??
i am not sure myself..
haiz...
feeling low but still must act good in front of recruits..
wat a irony..
lol..

Miss ocs.. really miss it..
the atmosphere is nv going to be around any other place..
the feeling of being a cadet is good though training is tough..
give mi a chance.. i would not wan go thru the training but i would like the feeling.. AGAIN..

A brand new wk ahead..
hope everything is alright.. or the dae become brighter for mi...
i wan see some light at the long long tunnel...

Missing u as always.. ur return is something i will like..
cherishing u is something i will do..
forever..

2006-09-23T22:43:00.000+08:00

a dae has gone by just like tat...
wat have i done..
practically nthing much..
spend the dae doing up my blog..
finally have it up..
look alright to mi...

change the skin..
change the theme...
my life.. my journey thru it..

been doing nthing else though..
a dae of what u hope but it dun goes ur wae dae..
nthing goes according to plan..
sometime i think too much..
sometime i spend too much time thinking..
sometime i bother too much..
but all tis i can't help though..

all i can ask for is a better dae tml...

I MISS HER.. but there is nthing i can do... except to think of her...

2006-09-22T23:21:00.000+08:00

1 wk in tekong le..
stress ahead..
being thru a series of lecture to prepare us in handling the recruits..
being a coach, a guidance, a motivator..

stress is when i have to handle not only 50 recruits, but oso 4 sect commd and 1 plt commd..
stress is when they r all lau jiao and i am new..
stress is they all seems to be a bunch of lazy asshole.. whom i nv see helping my upperstudy in training..
stress is my bunch of recruits r really unfit and no where passing ippt..

pain is when i see them putting hundred and 10 percent effort and still not improving..

delighted, motivated when i see them nv give up even when they r tired..

though its being one wk only...
but i begin to see the significant difference i will make to them..
the changes i can bring to them..
hopefully i can and i will do my best to give them the best guidance, knowledge that i have..

I MISS HER.. DEEPLY..
more than i thought i will...
time will tell.. watever action i might take..
which will determine watever changes lies ahead..

2006-09-20T20:31:00.000+08:00

hmm... i'm home. but for 1 hr..
cos went back safti to return No.1 and No.2..
i miss the place.
going back there fill mi with emotion..
seeing some of my instructors make mi think of the training and fun we had..

now is my turn to ensure tis feeling to the newly enlisted recruits...
make them feel at home but transformed them into soldiers..
tough tough tough.. but i like the challenge...

got this email from jon lim..
i think some of this pooints is true abt mi..
hehe..
tell mi which.. if u all wan..

Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. in need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by "no pain no gain" caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter. Repost in 5 mins and you will meet the love of your life sometime next month

2006-09-19T22:48:00.000+08:00

2nd dae in bmtc (pulau tekong)..
a total different feeling from 1 yr ago..
as i now no need to march.. and ppl r greeting u..: good morning SIR...
salute became part of mi as there is a number of salute per dae...

given the role of Ulysses Platoon 1 PC..
52 recruits.. all fresh as civilian gonna be under mi..
seen their past ippt result..
all fail.. not 1 is close to passing yet..
a tough challenge.. indeed... to ensure that r physically fit..
and all tis does not include transforming into a soldier ready to defend sg..

though it only been first dae since i engage the recruits..
i beginning to like and enjoy the new life and role i going to be in for nxt 1 yr..
hopefully the nxt 1 yr will improve my inter relationship skill...

tough time ahead.. but i will last all of it.. woo...
ALL botaks look so alike..
recognising them and remembering their name will be a challenge..
52 recruits..
11 more wks and i hope they can sae bmt really transformed them into responsible, and disciplined individual.. ready for challenges ahead...

I miss OCS though..
I miss my platoon mates in OCS..
i miss everyone...
I MISS U DEARLY....

2006-09-17T22:31:00.000+08:00

Commissioning ball over le...
the last time Charlie/Hotel 62/05 will be together as a whole..

let pic do the toking ba.. cos i lazy to type..

the place of ball

Shu Ying and Wei Ching

mi and wei

wei ching and mi..

shu ying and mi..

all the tanglinian

overall its an event well plan..
but i hope its the last time i attend tis type of event..
hehe.. cos very weird to wear so formal for tis event.. hahaa..

tml going tekong le.. sian.. 1 wk in camp.
book in book out only weekend.. sad sad.. but i going to do wat is required of mi...

2006-09-16T09:36:00.000+08:00

wat a morning..
same as usual..
on the com and rot in front of it..
ahaha...

see my blog site.. think its time for a change... especially the skin..
done it and uploaded it..
but still figuring out how the script work..
haha.. stupid and retarded on all tis computer stuff...

1 wk in dreamy land is ending soon..
ppl has already 1 wk of new experiece.. in unit..
i still at home ba long long.. haha..
the stuff for tekong still not pack.. though i keep teliing myself..
todae la.. todae.. but end up.. slacking my wae and telling myself.. there always tml..ahahha...
bad habit.... must change....

todae comms ball.. last time to see the whole 62/05 C/H cohort together le..
must enjoy every moment of it..haha...
all going seperate wae...

mon reporting.. still wondering wat to do...
must take cab or should i take train..
with such a big duffle bag.. the best is cab.. but all the wae to sft.. f**king ex sia..
sian.. stay in.. sian ah....

counting down the daes when we can finally meet...

2006-09-14T21:58:00.000+08:00

went to sentosa.
and have a great time..
ahaha.
long time nv go le..
and the feeling is great..
went with jl, jon lim, mahat, ws, wl
play a bit of vball and we really sux in it.. so decide to give up and dipped..
ahah..
den went kayaking.. damn fun.. haha.. make a fool of ourselves in the public..
like a bunch of kids enjoying.. and 2 photographer keep snapping at us..
dunnoe for wat..
went back to mainland (saw jin with a gal.. haha..)and go to marina square...
ahaha..
eat at cavara den went to play lan...
and den home..

wanted to go over v lee place.
but shag from tis long dae of activities..
some other dae ba.
tis is one of the dae i just wna to tok to a lot of ppl..
but i oso wan to be in the comfort of my home...

i missed all my friends...
i missed my home..
i missed my hotel wing bunk..
i missed OCS..
i missed my platoon mates..
and most of all...
i miss u...

2 more dae to comms ball..
nthing to prepare.
4 more daes to BMTC..
a lot to prepare.. but lazy to do so..
cos i still in my dreamy land..

2006-09-13T10:35:00.000+08:00

Si bei sian..
everyone starting their job in their new unit.
and i am still here rotting..

2nd dae of block leave..
kind of rot too much...
feeling lethargic and lazy sia..

went for a jog round the whole chinese garder for 2 daes in a row..
shagg initially cos i dun have the heart and soul to run.. but the more i run.. the more i dun feel like stopping..
finally end up at taman jurong.. making mi confuse how i end up there..
ahaha..

going to tidy up every single shit in the room..
to accomodate my new treasure..(sword...)
have lots of problem with my com recently as well..
the whole system seems cork up..
unable to access i tune, music jukebox, media player..
haiz..
all the stuff i bought(dvd, vcd and cd) all gone to waste since i cannot access it..
haiz...

going to have a big major changeover in my house..
change change change..
to have a living condition and a better living standard..
wooo...

SENTOSA tml.. just go le.. i not going to care who is going and who not.
time to be independent and not wait for others.....

2006-09-09T23:18:00.000+08:00

38 wks gone.. finally the dae has come..
090906
i commission as an infantry officer..

the parade din go on smoothly especially for the colors..
i am running a high fever, jon feeling giddy, jie hong fell down in the morning...
we started badly for the parade as well..
2 mark time wen din stop well.
damn bad.
i can feel the sense of disappointment in mi.... problem is WSM nv scold us though we make mistake and sae its just part and parcel.. i feel really bad.. after all we train hard under his patient guidance.. and we disppoint him and ourself with a bad performance...

finally emotion got to mi.
tossing of cap.. running to join my platoon from my position to their contigent..
i can feel tear flowing down.
i control though..
38 wks is tough and long.. especially all the training.
but its short whenever we noe we have friends and buddy and platoon 3 to be with...

mon is a new beginning.. 2lt and new start.
i feel lucky enough to commission and now time to prove i can make it thru..and not forget all those who contribute to my new found responsiblility..

some pic to savour:

color party 62/05

my mum and bro..

xiao bai and yenshun...with mi of cos..

a moment of pride, peak cap tosssing high up onto the sky of SAFTI parade square

my individual pic with new rank

2006-09-08T22:24:00.000+08:00

as i write tis blog..
it symbolise the last nite as an officer cadet..
19 hr more... my status in NS will cange to OFFICER..
i hope i wun cry tml..
38 wks seems long.
but thinking back it is NOT..
friends made..bond within the platoon..
noeing each other from the whole wing.
and even some from the whole cohort..

i just hope to do the best tml...
running a fleaking high fever now..
39 degree celius..
not something to play with..
i wan to recover and not disappoint anyone..
including WSM and the whole color party...

rest and pray for speedy recovery is all i can do..
tml 1742..the parade will start..
approx 1830.. i will be an officer of the SAF...

2006-09-03T17:30:00.000+08:00

Finally...
i got wat i long for..
CANON IXUS 60...
haha..$529.. very happy to buy it..
now i snap picture.
snap snap snap and keep snapping..
ahaha..

6 more daes to commissioning parade.
i waiting for it.. ready...

13 more dae to commissioning ball...
still waiting for a reply..
and tat he only thing i can do..
or should i just ask again???

BMTC i going there.. but as instructor or wat?
still unknown..
hopefully is instructor...

2006-09-02T22:27:00.000+08:00

1 whole wk of drill drill and more drill...
finally i ask...
ex classmate to go for comms ball...
however the ans is not a confirm yes or no..
which make still in doubt..
being busy with parade reheasal and acpc to think abt it..
guess i got get it settle as soon as possible..
by nxt wk ba...

posting noe..
less than satisfasing..
going back to PuLau TeKong..
BMTC..where it all begins..
still unknow is th position..
maybe as pc, or as staff officer..
a bit sad.
thought i will be posted to any mainland camp..
now i have to suffer the long journey of west to east....
but its always going to be fun... with new batches of recruit coming in each time...

ACPC happen just last nite...
before it begin, colors party did the uncovering of color.. an honour to be one of them involve..PRIDE like wat jon lim sae can be felt...
after the uncovering of colors is the presentation...
have a great feeling.. receiving the sword and scroll from a general's hand..

mi with my sword and scroll..

justin, jon lim and mi..

though we haven commission..
but the feeling of having the sword make mi feel the responsibilty and task ahead of mi.. making a difference..

dinning in was a new experience..
having to eat in such a manner.. too formal le..
feel very uncomfortable..
and the pace of the dinner is very very slow..
but the food is nice...
haha..

post dinning in whereby we have the OCS spirit is a experience i will nv forget..
the dae whereby i truely feel that i really belong to ocs... the dae where i think ocs is really my second home...

all fun and good thing must end though..
and rest we have before being back on the parade square for drills and drills..
did something which i think jon lim was shocked...
haha..
seriously discuss the way to improve for the colors party..
and gave out some pointer to them..
he look at mi and sae.. wah.. so serious..
thinking back.
of cos.. i am serious.. this is my parade, our parade.. i wan it to be the best.. and be remember in the rest of our mind... and leave lasting impression in all our loved one who will be present on the actual dae...

1 more wks to go..
pushing on.. to sharpen our drills and have good timing together..
its oso the last wk i going sleep in ocs bunk..
so i going to cherish it well..

2 wks to commissioning ball.. tiring wks ahead......
got to settle certain things fast.. if not i will have to source for other ways...

p.s.. more pic on acpc when i got the disc of pic.. haha...

2006-08-27T17:49:00.000+08:00

AHM 2006 is fun..
and 10km is easy..
haha...
nxt yr hopefully i wun be involve..
woooo....

same thing go...
DATE DATE DATE..
for my comms ball on sept 16..
HELP.. i need a miracle.....

2006-08-26T21:40:00.000+08:00

joint term start....
lecture begins..
and its time to sleep..
opps..
actually din mean to sleep.. but seems like i kana zzzzz monster attack just like everyone else.. once lecture start... i will be dozzing offf..
how can???? like tat how to study in future...
should change tis bad habit liao...

parade reheasals begin...
sian sian sian..
i being pull back into colors party..and i am escort..
sian sian sian...
training is tough..
but nthing beat an absent mind..

nthing bother mi as much as wat going to happen in the nxt 3 wks...
major problem ahead:

3 wks left..(actually is left 5 daes...cos minus all the weekdae where i am in camp..)to the GRAND comms ball..

actually quite looking forward to it...
but... till now still can't find anyone to be my date...
sad sad..
5 daes left to find..
thinks i better start issueing SOS for help...

ANYONE who has FRIEND to INTRO or ANYBODY who is free and do not mind PLS MSG mi..
DATE: 16 SEPT 2006
PLACE: Grand Copthorne Waterfront
ATTIRE: EVENING GOWN..(FORMAL DINNING IN)

damn sad to type tis out.. but no choice.. haiz...
any other expenses i will pay..
pls pls.. dun wans sign 7 extra after commissioning so soon.. (cos no date= 7 extras)
so pls pls... help mi if can.. thanx...

1 more wk to ACPC(finally.. a cert to sae i am an OFFICER of SAF and a sword to go with it..)

2 more wks to commissioning parade.. (can't wait for it.. finally a dae i stand proud with 1 sugar cane on my shoulder.. but the responsibility grows....)

3 more wks to commissioning ball..(dreaded its coming.. though i should enjoy myself tat dae.. haiz.. if miracle happens i hope tat will be an enjoyable dae..)

376 daes to ORD.. i wan to study... CIVILIAN life is deeply missed...

2006-08-19T22:02:00.000+08:00

professional term ended..
start of joint term nxt wk..
start of officership nxt wk..
start of parade rehersal nxt wk..

a small step towards a new beginning on 9 sept..
commissioning in 3 wks..
now is preparation for it..

out of colors party..
finally..
haha.
cos i too tall..
woo... thankfully i can march with the platoon..
no1 uniform has arrive..
but all shit work..
sleeve too long, pant too short..
sad ma..but the feeling is here le.. ready to commission..

dy S4 is my choice.. and something pc recommend as well..
haha..
hopefully i can handle it..

commissioning ball in 4 wks..
no time liao to find a date..
haiz..
ask zsa2 to go..
ahah.
kana scold by her.. ask mi find a girl to go..instead of biao mei..
haiz..
u think i dun wan meh..
i ask liao.. but she cannot fly back.. wat can i do..
alternative i haven find yet..
haiz...
and sometimes its hard to ask someone especially if u nv contact for very very long..
sad sad sad..
i need help..
seriously.. argh...

time to work out my future(in term of money.. spent fucking a lot in 1 whole mth..)
got to do something..
if not i will not have any saving...
haiz..
so working hard on something now..
at the same time.. looking for hope..

i need a miracle..
to make my comms ball successful..
i need myself...
to make my future bright..

p.s.. kana sae i tok not tactful..
ok loh..
i admit i am like tat.. will try to change la.
but take time ma..
since service term till now..i'm sure i got improve.. but y always think of it as i nv improve.. haiz..

2006-08-13T11:15:00.000+08:00

another wk pass...
eventful wk..
Ex panther.. mark the end of tactical exercise in ocs..
its end oso signified mi growing older by 1 more yr..
celebrating 21 while dong panther is fun..
though i miss the time of past celebrations.. but a whole new form of celebrating while doing mission..
book out for National dae..
and book in again..
haf occt grading (lucky i smoke thru and pass.. haha..)
den pac training..
PAC is our last exercise..
though we put in our best effort.. we din win it though..
but its ok..
we all have fun..
haha..

meet up with poly classmates yesterdae..
nv expect so many to turn up..
ahha..
but it was fun to see all of them again..
haha..
a great gathering.
went to see the fireworks..
all of us.. a big bunch.. all serving the nation.. all in different vocation.
ahaaha.. all officcerss.. or officer-to-be..
haha..
share with each other a lot.. on wat we have been doing.. all the occ training..
though they have commission 1 batch earlier than mi.. all is still the same.. haha.
just like the good old daes..
went to drink..
must "ta" the beer.. very sian..
but lucky i can drink..
ahah..
went home early though.. 12 on the dot..
cos i too shag le..
ahha...

like i sae earlier.. grew 1 yr older last tue..
same old way like previous yr..
my bdae wishes.. woo...
1) going to happen soon.. tat is to commission as officer...
2) still looking hard.. find a coms ball date..
3) do well sfor the rest of army.. and have a good start in NUS nxt yr.. woo...(can't wait for NUS though.. ahah..)

28 daes to go before commissioning parade..
35 daes to commissioning ball..

2 mth of pay gone to settling coms ball and parade...
bet i will be damn broke..
coms ball date...
how?
got any1 interested to go..
anione oso can.. all expenses pay for..
though best is if have grown for a formal ball..
haha.
but if dun haf.. den buy loh. simple as tat...:)

2006-08-13T10:02:00.000+08:00

some pic from taiwan.. ahhaa.. to descride wat i have been thru there.. and the fun i had..

touch down loh...

breakfast upon touchdown..

wat a big bunk we have..

my taiwan ic..too bad its wrong name.. haiz..

a tough climb up ahead.. and its just a start..

up on top and we saw tis...

initial d?? so nthing is fake.. haha..

typhoon coming...

preparation for typhoon..

no training.. so its games in bunk..

typhoon gone.. so back to training..

R and R loh..our first hotel..

marine centre.. like our underwater world..

fun in theme park...

mi with jon lim..

their guard..

Hotel 101...

"ji pa... yummy.."

guan cai ban

donuts

and more donuts..

GuanFu ith his ultra large cha peng..

xi meng ding

my tix back home..

Taiwan is fun.. but nothing beat coming back to sg..
if got chance.. taiwan is the place i will go for holidae again..woo..

2006-08-06T13:48:00.000+08:00

1 long wk gone..
actually not long.
but it feel long..
5 more wks to go before commissioning..
b4 tat.. 1 last mission on mon and tue..
Ex panther.. guess everyone will be chionging hard for tis..
after all tis is the last tactical mission..
haha..
another reason to chiong..
its lta lawrence last mission in ocs as conducting..
and my Ex pc is gabriel.. ahah.. (we did Ex dumping together..)
but sadly.. i have to end the mission on my bdae.. haiz..
but its ok..
chiong chiong chiong...

spend last nite with buddies celebrating bdae.. haha..
a very last min arrangement..
went boat quay to eat seafood..
fucking ex sia.. but 21 is only once a lifetime so no complain treating them...
manage to catch the fireworks even though we din plan to see..
fabulous.. wonderful scene.. haha..

2 daes to go..
guess after booking out..
will be spending it at home..
dun think will have any energy to go out..
a quiet 21 perhaps..
BUT... things might change.. if got any 1 wan go out celebrate with mi..
haha...

national dae on the following dae..
guess it will be the first time in 5 yrs tat i wun catch it live..
haiz..sad sia...
cos last time in national stadium liao..
but cannot watch it live..
y? cos must book in at nite..haiz...

5 more wks to go.. pc hint tat i might go logistic..
thinking of it..
i dun mind.. haha.. can get 8-5 is good.. so i can faster get my driving license..
haha..

6 more wks to comms ball..
still dunnoe who to ask..
haiz..
but think will only start asking when comms parade rehersal begin...

this mth expenses is a lot...
got to save liao..
but seems like the nxt 2 mth wun be able to start saving...
cos comms ball need money, acpc sword need money (for its case), a digital camera is the thing to get b4 comms parade, driving license need money.. haiz.. damn sad..
guess tis yr end cannot go oversea liao..
haiz..
but nvm..
will try get chalet..
to invite everyone i noe..
haha..
to have a gathering..
haha..

for.. time to sleep to prepare anothe sleepless nite in Ex panther..

2006-07-30T21:23:00.000+08:00

well..
i'm back from ROC..
will tok more on it in near future..

cos now i'm busy busy busy..

9 more daes to my BDAE..(21st.. can't wait for it..)
41 daes to 1 chocolate treat...
47 daes to coms ball(terror terror.. still no date..)

2006-07-08T00:21:00.000+08:00

26 hrs to go before my last oversea trip..
a siong trip ahead..
but with a rewarding 4 dae r and r..
haha..
going to go for shopping spree..
and to look for "chai"..
haha..

survive tis and i should be able to commission..
no 1 and 2 uniform is in tailor process..
amulette is waiting for mi.. (i mean 2lt)
2 badges in hand..
missing 1..
CSB (combat skill badges)

and ippt..

miss out on marksmanship badge..
haiz..
hopefully nxt yr can get it..

33 daes to bdae..
cannot wait for it to come..
but still hope it won't come.. cos it mean i older another yr..
nthing to expect..
wun be lonely though cos booking in..
but will feel lonely at heart..
cos its the same for the past 4 yr..
haiz...

65 daes to that juicy bar..
qns in my mind..
am i ready?
well trained?
confident?
no idea..
got to get it.
and try it out before knowing..
just hope tat everything is alright..

2006-07-02T20:48:00.000+08:00

time fly very fast..........
dun even noe tat i have not blog for so long liao...
every weekend is spent going out..
and time seems not enough..
haha..

another wk..
6 daes to be exact.
i will be flying again..
taiwan..
wooo...
fun..
can't wait to shop..
haha..
ani1 wan anithing?
i try to get it for u all if possible..
ahaha.. msg mi if u all wan..
hehe..

37 daes to 21 liao..
haiz.
seems like tis yr cannot celebrate le..
must book in..
shit sia..
morning got parade.. evening got fast march...
haiz..
like tat how can..
all my life..
8/8 is a half dae.. or even a off dae..
tis yr dun haf..
somemore 21..
argh...

birthdae wishes.. alot sia..
haha..
hope i can get them.. (who gonna give mi???)
haha..

69 daes to commissioning parade liao..
as long as nothing happen in taiwan..
all should be fine..
1 wk later is commissioning ball..
till now oso no date..
think chances of finding 1 is slim.
argh....
got to start searching phone book again...
haiz..
y issit in sept.. and not dec..
and y haven u come back....
haiz..
if not i would have ask u to go...
:(

2006-06-10T14:30:00.000+08:00

1 long mth passed..
and i blog once again..

a terrible mth..
back from brunei..
and feeling has being low...
lots of things happened..
good as well as bad..
but mostly is bad..

friend ooc..
though he improve tremendously..
new ppl join us..
cos they recourse..
reason being doing stupid things when they r 2 wks away from commissioning.
and now they r 3 mth away..

friends commissioning todae..
aero guys mostly..
2lt is wat they going to get tis evening..
and when they r celebrating the end of their hardship..
enjoying their last meal in OCS dining hall..
i am booking in for more hardship..

3 mth from now...
i will be the one rejoicing in dining hall..(hopefully)
but 3 mth is a long time..
several exercise to come..
1 more oversea trip..
and more appointment to handle...

i will last as long as possible..
to the dae i stand in the parade square proudly in no 1 uniform..

i need help...
stupid platoon cohesion must bring date..
nb..
thought the problem will occur only during coms ball..
but now they push it forward.
argh..
help help..
i'm lost..
no idea who to call...
argh....

2006-05-07T15:29:00.000+08:00

BRUNEI HERE I COME...
though more less prepared for the trip..
butterfly still flies around in my stomach..
haha..

safe trip more important..
and a pleasant 1..
watever happen in brunei which might result in any consequences should not be problem to mi...(i mean if i ooc..)

back on 23rd morning..
ahha..
will try to take as many pic if possible..
and all the wonderful things over there..

16 daes later.........................

2006-05-05T22:58:00.000+08:00

finally got my specs loh..
yeah!!
too bad din get contacts..
haiz..
guess can only get it after brunei ba..

went tm walk around while waiting for the specs..
lots of ppl sia..
and girls too.. ahaha..
not like jp or je or anywhere in the west.. so boring..

went beach rd aft tat..
saw cpt zul and his family..
roy and jo went there..
even tom was there..
guess everyone preparing for lancer ba..

wei got a back pack..
from $55 slash to $40..
regret tat i din buy..
saw it and find it nice..
haiz..
missed out on a good deal..
haiz..

went suntec nxt..
walk around.. saw mr tok..
haha..
with his gf..
went carrefore..
din buy anything..
finally went to marina and eat in lerk thai..

spent $5.80 on pineapple rice..
the food is terrible.. argh..
guess it will be the last time i ever will eat there..

another dae gone..
brunei is nearer..
time is moving fast..
haiz...

2006-05-05T10:20:00.000+08:00

Wing cohesion at sentosa..
quite alright.. though initially everyone find it sian to go for wing cohesion..
got myself burnt.. though only under sun till 1400hrs..
went PS swensens for platoon cohesion..
just sit around eat ice cream and tok cork..
no 1 is interested in tis..
cos its a waste of time..
so ended as fast as we could at 1700 hrs..
most of the guys went home.. cos they going chiong at nite..
left 7 of us singing our hearts out at k box in cine..
a singing session which we have plan for long long time and not having it done..
ended around 2130 hrs..
and we all went home..

supposed to go wala..
but as usual i put pigeon.. haha..
too tired liao and my whole body is burning hot from the sun burnt..
so din went over..
nxt time ba..
i will TRY not to put pigeon..

3 daes to brunei trip..
mood is stll alright..
more or less mentally prepared for it..
morale keep dropping as the dae come nearer..
afraid of my physcial condition..
dun really think i am ready for it..
but instructors sae most of us if not all is physically conditioned to face the terrian there...
how true issit??
i not very sure..
hopefully i wun screwed up..
just let mi passed brunei in a peaceful manner..

18 more wks to commissioning parade..
19 more wks to commissioning ball..
daes fly fast when u complete things..
but during the process of completing.. time is real slow..
the nxt 16 daes in brunei will be a torturing and painfully slow time of my life..

i wish i do not have to go...
i really wish...

2006-05-03T21:56:00.000+08:00

book out loh..
tml going for wing cohesion in sentosa..

did nthing for the past two daes.. except packing for BRUNEI..
squeeze everything..already so hard..
den still must take out everything..
for inspection..
haiz..
den trouble set in in packing the stuff again..
but all is done..
now is waiting for lancer to come and experience it..
haiz..

afraid..
terrified..
scared i can't make it.. scared i will be a liability.. to my team for the NaVEX..

argh....

enjoy for tis 4 daes..
enjoy all i can..
haha..
tat the least i can do for now.
to lightened up my mood before lancer..

2006-04-30T23:22:00.000+08:00

finally went to make specs le..
din make contact lens though..
din see the need of it for now..
cheap specs...
but seems nice..
aaha..
$180.. fly away even before brunei...

went lots of shopping mall..
from TM..(east)
to parkway parade (east)
to bugis(central)
and finally je(west)..

borrow a few book from library..
sudden urge to read..
but of cos its now lying at one corner of the room..
Y??
cos got com ma..
more slezy stuff can be read from the net..
ahaha..
think will start to read tml ba..
only 1 wk to finish all 4 book..
before brunei.
argh..
going beach rd tml..
alone..
so sad..
f**king wei always change ur timetable..
na bei...

nvm...
relax.. chill..
1 wk to relax..
before my fear start to set in...
a/c..
finally can take a/c le..
for 3 yrs.. i learnt of aircraft.. see different type..
touch fighter jet to commercial to rotor type..
now finally can experience taking off and landing in it..
sound stupid rite..
so happy over such small matters..
but its really a dream..
ahaha..
the ability to understand different part of it and to sit in it and experience..
ahha..

enough said..
time to koon..
before going beach rd early morning..

2006-04-30T23:02:00.001+08:00

long long nv blog..
actually not long..
only 2 weeks ba..
but should have update last wk but NO CHANCE at all.
cos y??
confine..
stupid rite..
whole wing confine.. due to the fact that w nv complete the navex..
ahaah..

here i am.. allowed to book out finally..
wat happen tis 2 wks was alright..
basically is just navex and pre for brunei..
and games(cos got ippt gold and clear seoc le..so those haven clear go do it.. while i ba long long whole dae..)wahahahaa..

pc interview.
noe our service term performance le.
C.. staring back at mi..
actually not too bad.
tot will get d..
or even a f..
but still get c.
aha.
same as most ppl..
nthing to worried abt.
noe myself..
having being myself since entering ocs.. since that "fatal" wk..
haven really put in effort in anything i do..(except for ippt..)
haven really do wat i am capable of..

pro term le..
if i wan to do well..
its time i change back... but i dunnoe..
something is holding mi back..
i wan to be among the best.. but the effort i show so far.. is going to stop mi from getting there..
time for a change? perhaps..

1 more wk to brunei..
first time take airplane..
ahaa..
so kan cheong.. too bad the destination if f up..
brunei..
rich in oil.. but terror to mi..
mt piang.. and 7 wonders..
here i come..
ready to conquer u...

give mi the power to survive brunei..
and i will be wat i am used to be..
the choon guan everyone noe..
not the 1 whereby ocs ppl noe mi of..

1 wk to brunei
19 wk to commissioning parade
20 wk to commissioning ball

2006-04-16T10:07:00.000+08:00

book in dae.. sian sian sian..
another 1 wk of training ahead..
and a short book out before going in for EX hunter on sundae..
went ECP with zm, joyce, and ray..
walk around eat.. see.. tok.. cos long time nv meet.
and i do mean long.. cos 1 yr plus liao..
haha..
some of the guys din go.. so sad.. so long nv see liao oso nv go..
but nvm ba.. still got chance de..
all busy with own stuff currently..
NS de serving now.. finish Ns de oso finishing liao..
going to serve de oso going in soon..
seems like all around mi r involve in national service..
haha.. except for girls.. if not all r in NS..

time to rest todae.. before going on to chiong..
10km fast march.. dun noe can make it thru or not..
watermanship.. den navi ex.. no more sleep again..
and back to our roots of national service.. (pulau tekong..)

finish tis 2 wks.. and i get 1 wk of relax wk before brunei...
enjoying every moment of it.. OCC time is only 38 wks..
it seems long.. but its ending soon.. in 21 wks time...

THE PROCESS IS TOUGH.. BUT THE RESULT IS FULFILLING..

2006-04-15T10:58:00.000+08:00

1 dae of long weekend gone..
went to lots of places todae..
from chinatown..to city hall..to bugis.. (walking..)
to orchard..(bus..)
to clark quay..to changi v.. and back bome..(car..)

meet bai, jen, helyn, jl, wm, mel loh, wt, hq.. at orchard..
for dinner..
end up go clark quay..
supposed to go ktv aft tat..
but delay here delay there den wt tl with us and decide not to go..
so jl and wt left..
the rest of us.. bai and mel loh drove us around and end up in changi..
see ah gua.. eat tim sum.. before going back..sending home 1 by 1.. until i am the last...

while going past changi airport..
saw a/c taking off..and landing..
really magnificent..
though it is my course of study.. (aeronautical eng)
i still find it extremely interesting..

kana police stop on way back..
stop and waste my time..
haha.. jking..just a routine job for them ba..

haven meet up with them for a long time.. so its always interesting to spend some time with ur old friends..
long lasting friendship dun need regular gathering.. but a common understanding with each other..
haha..

no money liao.. only 4 daes.. and tis mth allowance is depleted.. shit man...
need to save liao..
if not taiwan no money...

3 more wks to brunei..
21 more wks to commissioning..

2006-04-14T09:51:00.000+08:00

an eventful wk sia..
wing com inspection on barrack..
and i kana 3 extra for not reporting the damages in my level barrack immediately..
haiz..
clean and clean till its really clean..
even cleaner than my home..
just for a simple inspection by commander OCS..

MP came and check on us..
i kana for a burnt music disc..
haiz...
just brought in on sun for a new disc.
and i kana..
lucky nv bring cam phone.
if nt die till jia lat jia lat..
haha..

ippt test..
1 which involve burning weekends, $200, and the badge..
clear static..
first the shuttle run.. better time than normal..(10 sec flat)
nxt my inconsistant station: standing broad jump..(239cm)
nxt is my weakest of all: pull up.. (12)
and last static station and the easiest of all: sit up.. (44)

for 2.4km..
i nv run below 10min.
nv really thought i can pass..
and i feel like vomiting before the run start..
first round and i strat off faster than normal..
by end of second round i am dying...
but i push on with the thought of not having to go thru ippt test for the nxt 1 yr again..
haha..
complete i did..
and in below 9mins 30sec..
a great improvement sia..
nv expect it..
haha.
but i push myself on and on..

nxt to clear is SEOC..(nxt sat)
follow by Ex Hunter..
and BRUNEI..
haha...

step by step..
and it is a cumulative effort towards greater success...

21 more wks to go...
i can feel it.. getting nearer and nearer..
its all the effort and time i am going to invest..

PAIN AND FATIGUE IS TEMPORARY..
PRIDE AND HONOUR IS FOREVER..

2006-04-08T22:44:00.000+08:00

another week gone..
a tough week.. for mi..
reported sick..
att b for 4 daes..
breathless.. chest pain..
all in 2 daes..
undergo ECG more than i can count my finger on my hand in a single dae..

low heart rate..(average of 58/min)
irregular heartbeat..(sometime fast den pause for a moment before beating again..)

with no history of heart problem, asthma..
the mo came with a conclusion that i have muscle strain on the chest..
so all i got was painkiller and muscle rub..
however..
he gave mi a warning..
"if u feel unwell in any sense in the nxt 4 daes.. faster go see MO or doc.. cos it is very dangerous.."

all i have is a puzzled look on my face after hearing tis..

haiz..
feeling weak all over..
just a 2 daes mission and i like tat..
how to go brunei?? which is only 4 wks away..
haiz..

major changes among instructors..
my sect instructor is changing..
feeling very sad..
though i used to hate his teaching method..
but its for my own good..and now he's gone..
gone with the lao jiao and came a new bird???
think i going to suffer again.. haiz...

hmm..
all i have being blogging in my 1 yr 10mth is all craps..
from poly bullshits in class and outside activities to army tekan session..
din noe got ppl read..haha..
change blogskin 4 times liao..
being using the latest 1 for quite sometimes..
all "koop" from ppl skin..
ahah..
got timw.. if i really can find it.. i wan to make MINE own BLOGSKIN..
haha...
for now i still have to leech others..
and those who thinks its nice..
dun sae it to mi..
sae it to the 1 who design it..
haha.. i oso dunnoe the person..
but thanx guys..
its becos u all r so free to do all tis..
tat's y there r nice blog...

nxt wk is a short week..
oso pay dae..
time to make specs and lens..
haha..
time to spend a bit on myself..
if got spare cash..
maybe oso buy a new phone..
ahahaaa......

4 more wks to brunei...
can't wait to "piang" at mt piang..

2006-04-02T17:59:00.000+08:00

Sianz.. sianz..sianz..
another weekend gone..
wasted in sleeping..
booking in for another week of chiong sua..

counting down.. hanging on.. pushing forward..
5 more weeks to Brunei..
14 more weeks to Taiwan..
22 more weeks to Commissioning..
23 more weeks to Commissioning Ball..

2006-04-01T23:19:00.000+08:00

first wk of pro term gone..
shag.. more shag than normal..
tat wat is happening..
the urge to push on is there.. greater than ever..
but the physical ability to push on seems to have slow down a lot..
pain can be felt in almost every part of the body..
especially the ankle..
"PAIN IS JUST A SENSATION"
tis is wat was told to us on first dae of OCS..
push on i will..
mind over body..
for now...

training schedule out for the whole of pro term..
siong for now till lancer and to end of lancer..
and it become a bit more relax..

immediate targets
IPPT GOLD..
CLEAR SEOC..
DUN MAKE ANY MORE MISTAKES..
GO TO LANCER AND BACK IN 1 PIECE..
GET MARKSMENSHIP..

shag.. shag.. shag..
ani1 to get mi out of tis shaggness???

2006-03-26T10:21:00.000+08:00

23km route march..
a significant mark to end service term..
no more a junior cadet..
now a three white bar cadet= senior cadet..
it only mean more power.. more responsibility.

start of senior term..
everything will be tougher..
road will not be as easy from now on...

1 crow issued to mi for safety breach..
dun wan tok abt it..
no use crying over spilled milk..
toking abt something whch cannot be changed..
1 more crow for mi and i will go for PRB..
and a high possibility of OOC..
more stress i can perform better??
tat wat section instructor sae of mi..
we shall see..
the stress is on mi now to perform better and not make any mistakes..
to avoid another crow..
i wonder if i really can handle it....

social nite finally over..
a nitemare.. hahaha..
actually not tat bad..
just sae i dun like tis type of occassion..
din stay long as well..
went off quite early..

23 more wk to commissioning parade..
if i ever walk thru all tis..
23 more wk to another "social nite" but a more grand type..
23 more wk to a new lease of power and responsibility..

1 yr 6 mth to ord..
back to school is wat i hoping for...
i want my SOCIAL LIFE back

2006-03-20T16:07:00.000+08:00

finally over..
digging my hearts out for 2 whole nite..
staying underground for 2 nite..
nv feel so shag before..
but the satisfaction is there..

EX spade..
where digging for trenches..
damn f**king siong..
2 ppl dig 1 fire trench..
and mi??
3 ppl dig 1 mg trench..
so bo hua..
bigger than others.. but yet lesser ppl to dig..
but we complete it..
haha..
tireless.
arthur, matthews and mi..
keep digging..
or should i sae matthews only.
ahah..
we dig till we ko..
and ko until mg stolen by instructor oso dunnoe..
haha..
but the result was beautiful..
very nice..
very tough structure...

1 more wk left.. in service term..
after tat??
senior liao.. 3 bar.. pro term..
more outfield.. more responsibility..
1 more wk to social nite..
dunnoe how to survive tat..
haiz..
dread the moment dun come..

perserverance.. 28 more wks..to a new beginning.. to a new role..
if i can stay thru all...
and i noe i will...
cos 8 sept.. 1 yr after enlistment..
a new lease of energy will be form....